Thursday, September 30, 2010

So excited......

To see this movie tomorrow! I have read 14 out of 15 books in the Guardians of Ga'Hoole series. Loved them all and highly recommend them for kiddos :)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Blah!

This was the week where the excitement wore off and the sadness took over.

I knew that going back to work would take it's toll on my little family and this was the week. Ava had a melt down everyday this week. I had a few meltdowns this week. It is so hard to remain calm when she repeatedly freaks out for what feels like nothing at all. I have had to constantly remind myself that all of this change is catching up with her. She has made the comment "I hate your job" several times and is just hurts me heart to hear it.

I know we will be fine. We will get in a routine and adjust. We will, because we have to. Change is constant and can't be avoided. This one is good, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard.

We will just have to remember to cherish the time we have together and the small things. This morning we lingered in bed and had the cutest talk. Ava told me all about her adventures yesterday. I am going to take that time and tuck it away in that special place in my heart. I can't believe how my love for Ava grows everyday. She is an amazing girl and I am lucky to be her Mom.

Here's to hoping for an easier week!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

What's the lesson?

First, I just want to say that I am LOVING my job. I am feeling like everything in that part of my life is coming full circle (at least for now) and it feels really good. Its like 3 years ago I didn't really know what I wanted out of the professional part of my life and then I went back to school, learned a ton about myself and the world around me, and made some career goals. Now, after the past 2 weeks at my job, it all feels right.
The day of my graduation I wanted to arrive in plenty of time for my family to have good seats and to make sure I was where I needed to be etc,. Well, I was in time to see the end of the graduation before mine. I was standing in the back feeling an array of emotions, but when that graduating class stood up and everyone clapped I was overwhelmed with the most peaceful warm feeling and in that moment I knew that all was good. That I had done the right thing at the right time in my life, and that it was good. But that it was time to move on and that the next step would work out too. It was overwhelming to feel the spirit that strong at such a big moment in my life. I have had a ton of anxiety over this transition but at the same time I have had an undescribable peace that everything would work out, and it has. Does it get any better than that?

Today I got to go of campus with the girls on my team. We went bouldering and rock climbing at this really cool place in Ogden called The Front. I had a great time! It was fun to get to know the girls on my team. The girls are in a pretty intense theraputic environment and are all working on an array of problems. There have been times the past two weeks where I have had to choke back tears as I see them struggle and hear some of their stories. Some of them have gone through things I can't even imagine facing as a teenager. I just want to hug them tight, but I can't and sometimes it hurts my heart not to be able to. I look forward to their graduation days so that I can actually hug them.
At the end of our day we gathered in a group and the rec staff that was with us today asked everyone to go around and talk about something they struggled with while climbing today that can be related to the problems they are working on in their personal lives. It was so interesting to hear their thoughts and points of view. I couldn't help but think that this is the exact thing I have been working on in my own life lately. What can I learn from my experiences and trials? WHAT IS THE LESSON I AM SUPPOSED TO LEARN?
That is the question I have been pondering lately. It is the question I am asking my Heavenly Father A LOT. What is the lesson? What am I supposed to be learning? More directly I want to know the answer to these questions in relation to being single. Why is it taking so long? Why does it feel so hard and so impossible? I try not to talk about it a ton, but in reality it is a really big challenge in my life. I am lonely and I hate that I am missing out on so many things I wanted out of life. But, I am thinking that if I can just learn the lessons that I am supposed to be learning then I will be ready when the time is right. I have learned tons about myself the last 5.5 years I have been walking in my single mom shoes. I think I just might have caught on to the biggest lesson I need to learn (and maybe all of us, just in different ways) is that I can't lose faith. I can't throw a fit and give up on believing and knowing that when the time is right I will be blessed. I have to have FAITH. It sounds so simple, but yet sometimes it is so hard. I had a really big "thing" happen in my life last week, and there was a moment when the thought crossed my mind to just give up and lose my faith BUT I am not going to do it! I am going to prove that I can endure this trial until the Lord decides I have passed the test.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Savannah's Baptism




Last Saturday my niece Savannah got baptized. It was such a special day! She looked beautiful in her white dress and I loved seeing how happy she was. She is a special girl and I love being her Auntie :)

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

My new job, more of the first day and soccer!

This is going to be the catch up blog!

I GOT A JOB!!! That is the big news around here that I have failed to mention. I got a job at Island View. It's residential treatment center for teens. I am a milieu manager, which basically means I supervise troubled teens all day. I started last week and I am really liking it so far. There are definitely going to be some interesting experiences in store for me! It has been a bittersweet transition for me. I am excited to be working, especially at a job that I wanted, but sad at the same time to be done with the flexibility of a school schedule and of course I miss Ava. I was so sad that I didn't get to pick her up from the first day of school, but happy that I at least got to take her. I am going to be working from 2:30-11 PM. I is a different schedule but with Ava being in afternoon kindergarten so it will give me more time overall at home with her and I get to volunteer in her class on Monday before I have to leave for work. I am going to miss bedtime, but all in all this schedule will give me more time with Ava so I am good with it.

Here are some pictures of Ava when I dropped her off for her first day. Her teacher is Ms. McGary and she is loving school so far.


We started soccer again. Ava is bright lime green this year and her teams name is The Tinkerbell's. She is loving it and doesn't hesitate to tell her coach that she is the best on the team after she scores every goal. Apparently we need to have a family home evening lesson on humility :)

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Much to Celebrate.....

My birthday was great this year! I can't believe it is my last year as a 20 something, but I am trying not to dwell on it because 30 is the new 20 right?

Friday night Katie, Carly and Anna took me to dinner at Typhoon and then we did some shopping. It was a super fun night, but then again I never complain about a night out with the girls :)


Thursday night was Sharon and Brad took us to dinner at Ruth's Diner. Nathan, Emily, Caden and Blake came too! It was so fun to see them all :) I can't believe how big the twins are getting. Ava had a little fun with my camera taking pictures of herself and us while we waited for our table.

Thanks to everyone who made my day special!

Friday, September 03, 2010

Going Private

I am going to making my blog private. So, if you want to be an approved reader leave your email address as a comment and I will add you to the list. My comments don't automatically publish so your email address will remain private. I am going to go private on Tuesday, so let me know by then :)

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Ava's First Day

Here are a few pictures of Ava's first day of school. She looked so adorable and was so excited! She wanted aunt Katie to curl her hair, so thank you to Katie for helping with that. I took a few more at the school, but my camera is down in the car and I am too tired to go get it, but I at least wanted to get a few pictures up. Life is moving pretty fast around here and I WILL make time to fill you all in ;) But for now..... here is my beautiful baby.