Photo booth

Apparently Ava has discovered photo booth on my computer.  Here are few of the little treats I discovered on here today.....

There were at least 50 to choose from, and yes the first one is of her backside.  I love her sense of humor!  Never a dull moment around this house.

Emotions......

I feel like a basket case lately.  All of my emotions are very close to the surface right now.  I think that I have just been realizing how overly blessed my life is.  Some of the things I have learned in school are heart braking and discouraging and out right outrageous.  And I feel like the luckiest person in the world that I haven't had to deal with many of them first hand.  I feel lucky that so far I have managed to beat the odds in my situation. I AM SO BLESSED and I AM SO THANKFUL for all that I have!

My older sister, Katie, is having a baby practically any day now, but for sure on October 5th.  Every time I think about what it is going to be like to welcome her sweet baby boy into this world I tear up. Isn't it strange how I can love some one so much and I have never seen his face and I don't even know what his name will be.  But I all ready now that I would do anything for him and that I love him more than words can even express.

When Katie told me she was pregnant I had a lot of mixed emotions and I didn't quite know how to react.  I was so excited for this new nephew to come into our lives, but at the same time I was a little sad.  It can be hard some times to see other people all around me having the things that I want so badly.  The last year has been so hard for me in more ways than I can even talk about, but through it all I have learned the lesson that there is a time and a season for all things.  Right now my job is to finish school and enjoy that accomplishment.  My job is to keep developing my talents and establishing a career.  My job is to love Ava and teach her the things that will bring her the most happiness in the world.  And most importantly my job right now is to be a worthy temple recommend holder so that when the time is right for me I will be able to enter the temple and create an eternal family.  Then it will be my turn to have more babies.  Until that time, I am extremely blessed to share in the happiness of the babies my sister is bringing into the world.  And when the time is right, she in turn, will help me love mine too.

Just a glimpse.....

I am just a little sad that I haven't blogged a little more about all of the interesting things that I learn in school.  I am sorry that I have been keeping some of the seriously great bits of information from you all!  I have really learned some great stuff, I mean really great stuff.  I have a really tough semester ahead of me, I won't lie, but I have decided that I am going to get through it some way. So, I am going to look for the good amidst all the chaos.  That being said I am going to share what has been my favorite part of the semester so far (lucky you!).  I am taking writing 2010  this semester (and I think you all should know that I am the OLDEST person in my class, and I would be surprised if my teacher is more than 2 years older than me, in fact I may just be older than him).  My first assignment is to write a rhetorical analysis on the 2005 Kenyon College Commencement Address by David Foster Wallace.  You can find it here, read it!  I found it to be inspiring and a source of inspiration for every person.  I love it when a teacher assigns reading that I can really get into and appreciate and relate to it on a personal level.  THAT my friends is the BEST part of being a full time seeker of knowledge.  I want to share just a few parts that really struck me and spoke to me:

 "learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think.  it means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience.  Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed."

and this one is really good:  "The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.  That is real freedom.  That is being educated, and understanding how to think.  The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing."

I LOVED THIS LAST QUOTE!  I felt like it spoke to the very core of what has really given my life meaning.  I know who has taught me the essence of this kind of freedom.......

Have you learned this lesson yet?  Who gave you the gift of experiencing "freedom"?

Soccer.....

Ava has started soccer again, and if I do say so myself, she has the most stylin soccer uniform EVER!  What do you think?

 

I know, I know........

Yes, I am terribly aware that I am so far behind on updating you all on the excitement of my life! And boy is it ever exciting, but you will have to keep waiting.  Why?  Because I started school last week and I am in the middle of my I just started school and I feel like the stupidest person in the world mode. And I am wondering how I am ever going to survive this semester with my sanity, and I am grouchy, and I feel like crying, and we started soccer, and I have a young women's calling and I have to teach the combined lesson this week which causes me much anxiety, and I am frustrated with my online statistics class cause my lab book is not in stock yet and the class website is not working correctly, and...... and..... and.... my pity party list could go on and on and on.  Do you get the point?  To sum it up, right now I pretty much feel like a walking headache.  So I am going to take probably more tylenol PM than a girl should (don't take this part seriously, I am only taking 3) and hope for some much needed sleep because the last two nights have been spent tossing and turning and tossing and turning and Ava up crying because of bad dreams. Wish me luck people, it is going to be a wild ride!

Another year......

I am officially 28 today...........

I am not quite sure how I feel about this but here are a few of my thoughts on the subject:

After today I only have 1 twenty something birthday left

I am glad to be done with year 27 of my life, it was not my favorite year

I don't feel like I am 28 90% of the time and it kinda freaks me out that maybe I should act more "grown up"

The good thing about growing older is that I feel more comfortable with who I am and where I have been.

I am kinda like a fine wine..... I just get better with time! (that was supposed to be funny, just in case you took me seriously)

I had a great day!  I got up this morning and had the greatest massage.  It was just what I needed :)  After that I made a quick stop at Express (one of my most favorite places), had a great lunch at Happy Sumo with my Dad and TR.  After that I went to Katie's where she had 6 gourmet cupcakes waiting for me.  They are delicious!!!!!!  She also got me the most awesome purse EVER! Seriously I have been wanting a purse like the one she got for months and months. I will post some pictures of it in the very near future.  Then Sharon and I went to the Bountiful temple together, awesome :)  Next stop was the Texas Roadhouse with Sharon, Brad and Tyler.  The joke of the night was wether or not I was going to take a ride in the saddle, but I was off the hook cause Tyler was in pain from his recent knee surgery.  Now, I am sitting very contently on my coach eating really cute and delicious cupcakes drinking a diet Dr. Pepper and watching Sex in the City....... What more could a girl ask for?  Other than hugs and cuddles from Ava, nothing.  I am perfectly content and I am so excited to be starting a new year!  I have some goals that I am really excited about, more about that to come :)  Thanks to everyone who helped make me feel loved today.  I am very blessed :)

Stay tuned for updates from our trip to California last week......

StArGiRl = GirLs CaMp 2009

I had the privilege of being able to go to girls camp this past week and it was truly AMAZING (big thanks to Katie for watching Ava for me!) Camp is supposed to be for the growth of the girls, but I took so much away from camp this year. I feel like it was just what I needed at this particular time in my life. Our camp "theme" was Stargirl, based from the book Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli. If you have a daughter in her teenage years or approaching those years I definitely recommend this book! It is a quick and easy read and it is the best book. We have urged the girls to be as constant as the north star and to be a Stargirl in their own ways. We went to Park City for the week and stayed in the Mountainside Marriott so it wasn't very "campish" but boy oh boy was it fun! We had an activity on budgeting followed by some shopping at the outlets, movie nights, pool time, we went on a beautiful hike, went to the olympic park, did the zipline and the alpine slide, we had a pedicure and manicure night complete with paraffin wax and just spent time together having fun, strengthening our friendships and our testimonies. I came home feeling energized, happy, and motivated to try a little harder to be more like my Savior. Here is my week in pictures......
Waiting with some of the girls on Tuesday morning

Helping put away some of the groceries. Camille was in charge of the menu and she did an AMAZING job!
Me with some of the girls at the start of the hike

Me and Dana...... I don't look too excited :)
Everyone just hanging out at the waterfall at the end of our hike

All of the girls..... I love this picture! They are all so beautiful and unique.

God not only knows the names of all the stars; he knows your names and all you heartaches and your joys! - Elder Neal A. Maxwell

All the leaders (that were at camp). I love these women! They each inspire me and teach me so many things. On the drive home from the hike my brakes went out at the bottom of the hill.  While coming to a stop at the bottom of the hill were we would turn onto the highway I noticed that I was pushing the pedal down as hard as I could and that I just wasn't slowing down as quickly as I need to.  I don't know how but I was able to remain calm and just pulled my emergency brake and came within inches of hitting the car in front me.  My mind was racing.  I could smell the burnt rubber smell of brakes once I stopped.  There was a split second were I wondered if there was really a problem or what I should do.  Then the thought came into my mind that I was not to pull out onto that busy road followed by a warm comforting feeling.  Two men pulled up beside me and asked what the problem was, I told them that my brakes had gone out.  The pushed us to turn out on the side of the road and advised me that they had probably just gotten too hot and that if I waited for a bit they would probably work again.  Dan and Ginny turned around and came back to help.  I ended up being able to drive home safely and all ended well.  

In the bobsled at the olympic park. I really really want to go ride the bobsled they have at the olympic park. It has been added to my "to do" list.
Me and Dana on the alpine slide
Me and Eva on the zipline.... it was so much fun!
More zipline.....

A foot rub from Eva!
Quality time spent in the hot tub :)
Time for some star gazing......We had a couple from our ward bring their telescope up the last night and teach us a little astronomy lesson. I loved this part of camp! We got to look at the moon and see all the craters as well as Jupiter. I have never had the experience of doing this before and I thought it was awesome :)

Without the dark, we would never see the stars

Nap time with Kallie

And last but not least the fight over a jar of Nutella which were all just eating by the spoon full..... Definitely good times!

As you can see it was quite the adventure! The new song on my blog is from camp! Listen to the words, it is a great song!

"Always remember you have within you the strength, the patience and the passion to reach for the stars" Harriet Tubman

What can I say? I've been a slacker

I have totally neglected my blog! There has been so much excitement to share with the world, and I have totally neglected to do it. So, just I can feel somewhat accomplished I am posting a picture. Enjoy! and maybe one of these days I will feel ambitious enough to give the whole update. Happy summer :)

Gum Bubbles!

Last week Ava and I spent in Island Park Idaho with my Mom, Rod, Becca and Nick and had such a blast! We took lots of pictures and I will post some on Wednesday when my Mom and Becca come back into town. So for now, just some cute pictures of me and Savannah. Saturday afternoon Savannah and I spent some quality time seeing who could blow the biggest bubble with their gum. It was so much fun! It has been awhile since I have spend some one on one time with Savannah, she has grown up so much lately! I am so lucky to be her auntie :)

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day Dad! I love you very much and I am so very grateful for all that you have given me and taught me through out my life. You are a wonderful Dad and Grandpa!

I love Summer!

Ava and Tyler driving the boat! She was pretty excited about this, especially cause Tyler let her honk the horn while she was driving. She was just beaming! On another note, I tried to get her in the tube today and she screamed bloody murder! We have some work to do on the actually getting in the water part of boating.

All I can say is that I have LOVED being home the past 6 weeks. It is so great to be home with my girl all day long. Yes, there are trying times when I wish that I could just have a break for a few hours, but more than not I am loving spending this time with her. I feel so very blessed to have the opportunity to just be at home with her this summer. I am trying to make the best of everyday because I know it just may be the last time I just get to be home with my girl. I only have one class this summer on Tuesday night so my school load is very small, which I am loving, especially because I managed to save all the "harder" no fun classes for my last semester :(. This last week we have gone on a few walks, we went to the Children's Museum, Kangaroo Zoo, and today was spent at the lake. Next week we are headed to Island Park with my Mom and her crew. So excited for that! I have been reading like a crazy woman and have made a good dent in the stack of must reads I have been collecting for the past 18 months! Ava is leaving next week to spend the week at her Dad's, this is the only time she will be gone before I start school, so I need to think of a few "adventurous" things to do while she is away. Life feels pretty good right now!

How much do you like fry sauce?

Fry sauce is most definitely a "utah thing", but is pretty good. But do you think it is good enough to just drink it right out of the cup? My nephew Luka sure does! He loves to dip his food in any kind of sauce actually, but this particular day dipping wasn't enough so he just picked the cup up and poured it straight into his mouth! On Monday Katie and I decided to meet up for lunch with the kids at Carls Jr. for some lunch. Luka was only dipping his fries and then sucking off the fry sauce. Katie told him to start talking some bites. He obediently took a bite of his fry, then got this disgusted look on his face, stuck out his tongue and wiped the fry off. Man I love that kid!

Memory Monday

Can you believe this was 9 years ago?

Makin' me smile....

How can you not smile when you see this?

Happy Birthday Grammy!

Today is my Mom's Birthday. We wish that we could be with her to celebrate this special day, but we won't get to see her for a few more weeks. Here is Ava's rendition of Happy Birthday, she is quite the ham and can't seem to remember songs very well. We are working on it :)

Lagoon!

This is my favorite! Ava and Alex on the Tilt a Wirl. I think we went on this one like 5 times!

Cassidy, Alex and Ava! Aren't they the cutes friends!

More Tilt a Wirl fun!

Ava and Alex

Ava laughing on one of the rides! Isn't she too cute?

Love how big her smile is! We were seriously laughing so hard!

Ava playing in the fountain :)
I took Ava to Lagoon today, and I must admit I was pleasantly surprised!  I wasn't all that excited about going.  I haven't been to Lagoon since I was 12 so I had no idea what to expect at all.  There were so many fun rides that Ava could go on and she absolutely loved it!  She is quite the little dare devil and loved the "fast" rides.  When we met up with our friends Mandi and Alex she only wanted to go on rides with Alex and not me!  I was a little nervous watching her on some of the rides without me being right beside her.  Mandi and I also did the catapult and it was SO MUCH FUN!  We paid for the video but when I went back to get it they had lost it.  They refunded our money, but I was so sad to not get to see the video:(  I love the pictures of Ava on the rides, she would just laugh her head off.  I loved seeing her so happy!

I am taking it back.....

Everyone always says "time heals all wounds",  I even just said it on my blog about two months ago.  But, the last two weeks have changed my mind on this.  I don't believe that time HEALS anything.  I think it gives us the chance to change our perspective, to change our plans, to change our selves, or to replace what has been lost.  It is more like an anesthetic, it numbs the pain, rather than completely healing.  I don't know exactly how people heal from the heart brake we all encounter through this life.  I really have NO IDEA.  I think it is just a process that we all have to endure and that we have to give ourselves time to heal ourselves.  Time doesn't do the healing, we do it ourselves.  I thought I was doing a good job at getting better, and I really was.  I was happy, smiling, singing in the car again, and I was just feeling great.  But the last few weeks it has all hit my like a truck again.  It makes me feel so stupid that I feel this way, but I do.  The pain in my chest has made its presence fully known and I feel, once again, like I am drowning in it again.  I have officially lost all faith that time will heal me.