Saturday is the big day......

The first time I decided I wanted to run a half marathon was in 2009, but I wimped out. It got hard and I didn't push myself. The second time I thought I would do it was with Katie last October, and I gave up again. My hips hurt so bad for days after I would run and I let that keep me from doing it. Finally this year I asked Katie if she would do it with and FINALLY on Saturday I will accomplish a goal a long time in the making.

It has been an interesting 16 weeks of training. There were many mornings I did not want to get out of bed and drag Ava to the gym so that I could run. I wanted to stay in my warm bed and sleep. BUT I didn't (well, sometimes I did) and gradually running wasn't so bad. I have actually grown to love it in my own way. I think because my intentions were different this time. I wanted a goal that would help me be stronger, mentally and physically. Katie found this quote when researching a training schedule for us and I thought it summed it up perfectly.

"Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up. It is always tired in the morning, noon, and night. But the body is never tired if the mind is not tired." George S. Patton, US Army General, 1912 Olympian.

When we started running I also didn't know that I would soon face some of my most challenging times. It has been an interesting few months, and running has helped me sort through a ton of emotions and thoughts. It has given me time to reflect on what is important to me. It has given me time to myself and time to just feel my emotions. I could run because I was happy, angry or sad. I hate crying in front of people and I have shed a few tears on the trail where we run, because it was a place I could go and just be in my own head for an hour.

Running has also given me time with my sister. We start out together but after a few miles I can't see Katie any more, but I know that she is there, and that she will clap for me when she passes me on the way back. Having her with me on our "long" runs has given me the drive to go the distance.

Saturday Katie and I will run a half marathon in Bear Lake. I can't believe the day is here all ready. I am really excited and nervous, but I know I can do it. It might be hard and there will definitely be moments when I want to stop, but I won't. My goals for Saturday are to finish, run/jog the whole 13 miles, and SMILE :)

Kindergarten Graduation

Would I sound like a broken record if I said I can't believe school is out? Cause really I am wondering where the last 9 months have gone. Or for that matter where the last six and half years have gone. When I first started this whole single Mom thing I would tell myself "just make it to Kindergarten and then things will get easier." All I can do is laugh about that one. I guess it just goes to show that things never happen the way we imagine them cause the last 9 months have been some of the toughest I have had.
Ava has done an amazing job in Kindergarten. She has made friends and also experienced what it is like to have an "enemy" or as Ava has title her, a worst nightmare. It has been interesting for both of us. There was one girl in class that Ava just clashed with. Most likely because they have pretty similar personalities. There were many days when I just didn't even know how to approach the situation and I am sure her teacher did too! But everyone survived. Ms. McGary had Ava and Amarri do a poem together at the graduation, and they did great! I found it hard as a Mom to always encourage her to try and do the right thing, but I did my best :)
Ava's personality is blossoming everyday and I love to watch it happen. Sharon mentioned on her blog that a few years ago at Ava's preschool graduation she wouldn't sing or participate at all, but at her graduation on Wednesday she was all action. She sang so loud and danced crazy when she sang tootie tot. Funniest part of the graduation was that one of the boys in her class would not do the tootie tot dance and stood the stage with his arms folded looking at everyone like they were looney. It was awesome!
I can admit that I did feel a little teary eyed, but as usual I stuffed it down. I am excited to see the changes that happen for Ava in first grad, but feel sad that my baby is growing up. I try and cherish all the moments I can with her because what if this is the only time I get to do this? I want to just freeze time so that I can remember everything perfectly the way she is right now. I hate that I have missed so much, but cherish more than words I can say the moments I do get. Motherhood is definitely bittersweet.
Good job Ava, I am so proud of you!