The Wooden Bowl

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year - old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess "We must do something about father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor." So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life.."

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a
friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn!


My sweet mom sent this to me today. It touched me to the point of tears. It is all so true! There are so many things in life that I have learned through trial and error and there is still so much for me to learn. I am so thankful for all that I have been blessed with! With this week being Thanksgiving I have been reflecting on all the many blessings that I enjoy in life. I am truly blessed beyond measure. I have a warm safe place to live. I have been provided the opportunity to go back to school and get and education. I have a network of people who love me and my sweet girl, who help us on a daily basis. I live in a wonderful family oriented neighborhood. I am part of an amazing ward family who provide me with strong testimonies to lean on during times when I am in doubt of what is right. I have a calling that allows me to interact with beautiful daughters of God who bless my life and make me want to be a better and more diligent follower of Christ. I have a family that I love more than words can ever express. I have a beautiful daughter who inspires me to better on a daily basis. She is my best friend and the bond between us can never be explained or defined. I have parents who love and support me through every decision I make, good or bad. My parents have become two of my best friends and mentors, I can talk to them about anything and everything without hesitation. I have two amazing sisters, Katie and Becca, who laugh and cry with me. I have an amazing brother in law who I love with all my heart and always make me feel welcome and accepted as part of his family. I have two nephews and a niece that I love to pieces. I have a step father, a step mother, and nine step brothers and sisters and their beautiful children that have given me the opportunity to learn how to expand my capacity to love.I have amazing Grandparents who have taught me some of life's most valuable lessons. I have an adopted mother, Sharon, who shows up when I am sick to take care of me and during some of my darkest hours, when my own mother can't and has truly kept me going for the past 3 years. I have Brad who blesses my home with his amazing "fix it" skills and priesthood power that has restored my faith on numerous occasions and who plays with Ava and gives her the "male" attention she craves. I have amazing women who care for and love Ava while I go to school and work. I have amazing visiting teachers and home teacher that show up every month without fail. I have friends who truly care about me. And most importantly I have a Father in Heaven who knows me inside and out and He will never stop loving me and watching over me no matter what I do! LIfe truly is a blessing! What are you thankful for today?

Where is Thumpkin, Ava's version

Ava had me cracking up all day singing the same song over and over again. Don't know if many people know this song but it is the one where you go through each of your fingers and they great each other. Where is thumpkin, where is thumpkin, here I am, here I am. How are you today sir very well I thank you, run a way, run a way. She kept doing it over and over again while I was blow drying her hair. She doesn't quite get the very well I thank you part right and the way she says it cracks me up! I got her to perform it again last night so I could make a little video. I love the facial expressions she makes and you can just see the wheels turing in her head while she is singing it! Priceless!

I love this!

I posted a link to this video a while ago but found this one recently and like it even better than the first one! These pictures of the Saviors life are so touching! I love the one of the ten virgins and the one of Jesus hugging John the Baptist right after he was baptized. Amazing

Baby Kisses

Man I love my nephew Luka so much! For some reason I have always just had a special spot for him in my heart. I love Cooper and Savannah too! But they don't like to snuggle me so much any more. I practically have to beg Cooper to hug me these days! But I don't have to beg Luka, yet. Last night at his party I got him giving kisses and it was great! He opens his mouth and sticks out his tongue and then just keeps coming back for more and more. Good thing baby drool is pure!

How do you see it?

I went to the airport yesterday. As I walked in I was instantly hit with excited energy. There were two huge family crowds waiting right outside security. The conversation was excited and tear filled. There were signs, banners and balloons. One family had all ready greeted their cute little return missionary and were all crowed around him hugging, crying, and talking. The other family was anxiously waiting for their man of the hour. And then I realized I had gotten off the bus a little early and was in the wrong terminal. I wasn't mad, how could I be after witnessing such events. I went to the next terminal. Same story taking place there. It was so energizing. I fed off of their excitement and it made my day better.

The airport can be such an interesting place if you let it be. Everyone there has a story. You can witness so many expressions of emotion. There are happy reunions, tear filled goodbyes, lovers, families, people who are grieving, people excitedly waiting for the adventure some place faraway. It can be quite amazing.

As I walked through the airport yesterday I was very attentive to the people around me. I passed one of those young missionaries as he made his way through the airport to greet his family and meet the next adventure that life would soon be unfolding for him. I could sense his excitement. It was SWEET! I couldn't help but feel a little excited for the day that my family would gather in the airport to greet a handsome returned missionary named Cooper and Luka or a beautiful glowing Savannah, Ava or maybe even a Becca! It made my heart beat faster to think that one day I would get to be a part of that.

I saw a handsome man in uniform bidding farewell to his wife and family. Lots of tears. I can't even begin to imagine all the emotions they were feeling that day. Fear, sadness, anxiety.............. Maybe this would be there last farewell or maybe they will have one of those happy reunions one day. Who knows?

It turns out that my flight was leaving out of the same gate me and Sharon left to Hawaii on. I remember the way I felt that day. I was one of those happy travelers waiting to meet their next great adventure. I had a hard time just sitting there waiting for my flight. I think that was one of the most exciting days of my life! I thought of the times that had found me crying waiting for a flight. Like the night I flew to Utah to say goodbye to my Grandmother who's days on earth were numbered. I was sad and scared of the unknown territory I was traveling into. I remembered the excitement I felt the day I flew into Utah just weeks after Ava was born. Katie was waiting for me and was all ready crying by the time we got there. She met her niece for the first time. It was one of those tender moments.

All of the recent life changing events I have been experiencing lately have given me the chance to step back and look at the world. There seems to be never a dull moment. Life never stops. There is always a new adventure waiting for when we least expect it. I am trying to be thankful for even the hard things that I face in life. What am I supposed to learn? How can they make me better, stronger, and maybe even a happier? I am also trying to look at everything in my life that if is beautiful. I am truly blessed! I know that I have a loving Heavenly Father who wants me to be happy. He wants me to have joy but that sometimes we have to experience the refiners fire to find that joy. I know it is out there and that I will find it!

Happy Birthday Luka!

What a special day today is! Last year on this day I got a call at 3AM telling me it was time to go have a baby! I jumped out of bed so quickly you would have never guessed it was so early in the morning. It was PURE EXCITEMENT! There is nothing I love more than a newborn baby fresh from heaven. What a beautiful gift of love and sacrifice I was able to witness. The memory of the first time I saw cute little Luka will warm my heart for eternity! There is nothing like the love an auntie has for their nieces and nephews. Luka is such a sweetie and brings so much joy into my life. Just last week I was lucky to get some of the best cuddles from him. He snuggled his cute little face into the side of my neck and stroked my hair. It was so precious! It has been so fun to watch him grow and see his personality blossom. I look forward to watching him grow and loving him more and more every time I see him. I love you little guy!

Wisdom.........

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AVA!

Four years ago today I learned one of the greatest lesson in love a person can every learn. I became the mother to a beautiful girl! She has brought more joy into my life than I could ever have imagine. She is outgoing, friendly, talkative, inquisitive, funny, gives the best cuddles, and loves all the people that make up her family.
Today I also learned one of life's lesson on love. I went the funeral of my dear sweet grandma today. It was overwhelming to be surrounded by all the people who she loved and has received love from in her lifetime. She was an angel who touched the lives of so many people. We all shared many wonderful memories and lessons we have learned from her over the years. I said goodbye and left wanting to be just a little better. I want to be like her: forgiving, cheer full, energetic, optimistic, and most of anything Christ like.

Saturday Night!

What do you do for fun on a Saturday night? Me and Becca are pretty lame so we had a fun little photo shoot in my kitchen. Definitely GOOD TIMES!!!!

One week ago........

Last Friday we had an early birthday celebration for Ava. We had two parties. One with her cute little girlfriends. We went and got there nails painted and then came back home for pink cupcakes, with sprinkles, can't forget the sprinkles. Ava was very adamant that they be there. I take with me when I get pedicures and she has a favorite girl there who always paints her nails. Her name is Tina. Ava will sit and wait while she finishes what she is doing and of course she chats with her the whole time. Tina was ready and waiting for all the girls when we got there. She even had a cute little gift for Ava. It was way cute!






Later that night everyone crowded into my small apartment for dinner, cake and of course presents! It was so much fun. We have truly been blessed with many people to love us! Thanks to Katie for coming early and making the food! Thanks to everyone who came and helped my girl feel so special and loved! It was such a fun day! I am so lucky to be her Mom. It is my source of happiness and fun (well most of the time, sometimes it tries my patience as well!). I splurged this year and bought the cake of cakes! I figured that I have totally flopped with my cake making skills the last two years. On her second birthday she requested cup cakes. My purple frosting looked gray! I was so sad, but laugh at it now, because I know I get at least get points for trying, right? And last year my cake literally made me cry while I was frosting it cause it was not the way I pictured it to be in my mind. Once again points for effort. Before she feel asleep Friday night she looked at me and said "Mom, we have a lot of people who love me, huh?" And she is right about that one!

Ramblings..........

Gotta love the self portrait!


So I went on my third date Tuesday night. It was way fun! Cute boy, good food and good conversation........ What more could a girl ask for? We may be going out tonight again, but there are no definite plans in place. And I have a date with bachelor number 4 tomorrow. My neighbors, Buck and Anna, are setting me up with one of their single friends. We are going to the pie for pizza! Don't know what I am looking forward to most, meeting the guy or the pizza :) My sadness is starting to numb a little bit, but I still don't feel quite "normal" yet. Moving on is helping a little, but it is still the first thing I think of every morning when I wake up. The tears are tapering off........ slowly but shirley things are evening out.

I talked to my cutie pie today. She is sick with a sinus infection, soar throat and slight ear infection. Oh the drama this creates for me with her Dad! I am not looking forward to the phone call I will mostly likely receive tonight lecturing me because she is sick. Everything is always my fault with him. Sucks! The thing is is that I probably won't act very gracefully about it. It might just feel good to tell him what I really think today and then just hang up. I am not one to be messed with these days. I even honked at some one this morning for driving like a jerk. This is a rare occasion, I can probably count on one hand the times I have used my car horn.

On a much lighter note here are just a few samples of the surprises left for my on my computer Monday night. Love you Becca, you always make me smile!

My sweet Grandma.....

At the temple in June


April 2008


Today is a sad day for my family. My dear sweet Grandma passed away in the early hours of the morning. We new her days here with us were numbered. I was planning to go say goodbye after school today. Oh I wish I would have gone last night! My grandma was one of the sweetest people in the world. My life has been greatly blessed by her! I went to Logan with Katie last week to see her. All I could do was just sit there and cry while she held my hand and stroked my hair. She just kept telling me how beautiful I was and how much she loved me. At one point she commented on how dry my hands were and that I should take better care of them. She told me to go get some cream so she could rub it on my hands for me. See, that is what kind of woman she was, always caring for the ones she loved. This summer when I went to the temple, my Grandma walked in wearing the same dress. She excitedly sat down by me and said I am so glad that we are finally twins. It was so cute! I remember thinking at one point while sitting there that that would be the only time I would probably be there with her. I am so thankful to have had that experience with her.

When I was in the fourth grade I did a report about my Grandma Clark. She wrote a brief history of her life for me. Last May I found it while going through some of my old stuff. I will cherish it always! She wrote about how the day she was born how her father was working on the Boulder Dam in Nevada so her mother was staying with her parents. She was born on March 14th when the weather was usually warm but how that year it was snowy and the roads were closed. Her Grandfather pulled her mother in a horse drawn sleigh to the main junction where her uncle Dick met them with the car to drive her mother to the hospital. Soon after that they went to live with her father. Their house was on stilts and she could remember that they had large turtles that lived under the porch and she and her sister, Glenna, would ride them.

She wrote about how her mother said she could swim before she could walk! Now I know I must have inherited my love of the water from my sweet Grandmother. She wrote about marrying my Grandpa and how much she loved being a wife and mother. She loved sports, working in her yard, cooking and quilting. She shared some of her favorite memories of my Dad. How he loved to work with his father and Grandfather. She said my Dad was a great example for the rest of his family, he was a good athlete, dedicated worker, always kept his word, and that he always respected other people. I am so thankful to Grandma and Grandpa for raising my Dad to have all these qualities! They are things that I admire about him and learned from him as well.

A few years ago Katie and I went to a bridal shower for one of my cousins at my Grandma's house. We got there early and my Grandma told me about how she and her cousin snuck out one night and took the car out so she could learn to drive! It was so funny to hear her tell the story and know that once she was doing the same type of things I myself did as a teenager. Just one last thing......... My Grandma has the biggest sweet tooth of anyone I know! I get that from her too, I guess. She would always be prepared with an ice cold pepsi and piece of chocolate from her secret stash. She would grab me a can and then I would wait while she would go to her secret hiding place for her box of Sees chocolates and then I would get to pick ONE, and just one! But she really did know that sometimes that cold pepsi and chocolate could really make you feel a little better. Tomorrow I will stop to get a box of chocolates, and drink a Pepsi in memory of her.

Disneyland!

Yesterday we celebrated Ava’s birthday at the happiest place on earth, Disneyland! We had a blast! Tricia and Lola met us there and we partied all day. Ava requested the teacups for her first ride, followed with all the rest of my favorites, Dumbo, the Carousel, Alice in Wonderland, Pirates….. The list goes on and on! We went to lunch at The Rainforest Café in downtown Disney where Ava was sung Happy Birthday! She later said that was here favorite part. You should have seen the look on her face when all the clapping and singing people showed up to our table! It was priceless. She just beamed the whole time they sang!
I have never seen the firework show at Disney before and it definitely did not disappoint! It was amazing, and I loved every second of it! Fireworks are one of my favorite things, and the music and the princess castle all lit up just made them even better. They had different parts of the show to go along with different Disney movies and attractions; Tinker Bell even flew above the castle! I think that was Ava’s favorite part. My shoulders and neck will probably ache for days from holding her on them during the show. It was such a fun day! I am so glad that I was able to take her.

P.S. Pictures from her party on Friday coming soon...........

Update!

Well, I have been meaning to post for days and days but I just can't seem to muster the energy! I think that after my post last week I took a turn for the worst for a few days. BUT I think that I am coming around the bend so to speak! Yes, I am still sad and aching but I am still moving and have not curled up into the ball. I have had a variety of emotions the last week and a half. It has been quite the roller coaster ride! I am so grateful to the people who have been here for me in so many ways. I can't even begin to tell you about the loving arms I have felt around me, physically and spiritually.

I think I have watched Hope Floats everyday this week! It is the best movie to watch when feeling depressed, at least in my opinion. There are some great words of wisdom in there and the music is great. Here are just a few of my favorite lines:

"Crying over it won't make it clean."
"Go out there and get the stink blown of you!"

I guess that is what you could say I am going to try and do, get the stink of this blown off! I have put my dating profile back online and this time around has been different. I am finding a few people to be quite forward and not wasting anytime with getting to the point. I have gone on two dates! I don't know if I am really ready for this or not but either way I am doing it. Some one told me that sometimes we just have to move on physically and let our emotions catch up. That is exactly what I am doing. Even though I feel broken, I am physically moving past it. Putting on my game face and moving. The first date was all right. Met a guy at Starbucks just to meet and talk. It was good conversation and just that for now. I cried when I got home, but I went and for a minute tried to forget the way I was really feeling

Today was the first day I have not cried in 11 days! I made it the whole day! And I went on my date number 2 and I can actually say that I had fun. Fun that included smiling and a little laughing. Went to a BYU basketball game and then home. I Tomorrow I can promise a much happier post. It is Happy Birthday celebrating at my house since Ava is going to be at her Dad's on the actual day. So tomorrow I will wake up, put on my game face, and create a magical day for my girl!

Before I go just one more quote from Hope Floats. It is the last little part of the movie and I love it and feel like it is just what I am trying to do: Giving hope a chance to float up!

"Mamma always said beginnings are usually scary, endings are usually sad, but it is the middle that counts the most. You need to remember that when you find yourself at the beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up and it will too."