Mr Luka.....

Luka has always held such a special place in my heart. I just love this little guy so much. At one of Savannah's soccer games he found a diet coke in my purse. Of course I opened it right up and shared. I feel exactly this way when I drink a diet cherry coke! Happy Birthday Buddy!!!

She's 5!!!!!

Can you believe my "baby" is 5? I can't..... in some ways it feels like she was just born and other days it really does feel like another life time ago. But I guess you could say it was a whole different life 5 years ago than it is today. My big sis Katie took these adorable pictures of Ava for me this morning. I LOVE them.....






Ava is a vibrant 5 year old. She is always bursting with energy and excitement. Right now she is really into playing with her dolls and insists on taking them practically everywhere with us. She is also really into Tinker Bell and want everything to be like "Tinker". She loves the movie Marley and Me and watched it several times a week. I don't think I have seen the movie from start to finish but I have the whole thing basically memorized. Maybe one of these days I will sit down and actually watch it with her. She has developed quite the sassy mouth in the last few weeks. I am hoping she overcomes this VERY soon! I am thankful for Ava and for the joy she has brought into my life. I had no idea what I was getting into, but I could never have imagined our life would unfold in the way that it has in the past five years. I love you Ava!

My faith has been increased...... yet again.

I had a scary moment tonight. The kind that made my heart stop beating for a minute. In my house I have a a fairly large shelf that hangs on the wall and then below it is the table I have with my TV on it. It is a good sized table and in the last few weeks Ava has developed the obsession with climbing on top of it and turning on the spot lights inside the shelf. I have told her time and time again NOT TO CLIMB UP THERE! Well this evening I was sitting in the kitchen working on an assignment for school and heard several large crashes in the next room. I ran in there to find Ava buried under the shelf and my TV. She had climbed up to turn on those stupid lights again and some how managed to pull all of it down on top of her. I was expecting the worst as I started pulling it off of her, but to my complete amazement she didn't have a scratch on her. Not a single injury. She was shaken up to say the least. Even more to my amazement nothing was broken. The table my TV lives on took a few bumps and scratches and my DVD player has a big dent in the top of it, but that's all. I am so thankful nothing worse happened. We truly have angels watching over us!
To give you an idea of the size of the shelf here is a picture of it, it doesn't quite have the whole thing in it, but you can get the idea.

Loving

This song. The video isn't much, but just listen. I am loving it right now!

Funny Story!

So, I have rejoined LDS singles online.... that is a whole different saga of my life. I guess if anything it provides me with entertaining stories to tell. So today I was online and this guy initiated a conversation with me. I checked out his profile and decided I wasn't really that into him so I replied a simple "thanks but no thanks". I have come to use this phrase often. It just gets to the point in a polite way. After I said that I just closed the chat window. He then responded "Nice, just close out the window. You weren't that cute anyway, fatty!" I seriously busted up!!!!! I guess I found it so funny because he must not have thought I was too fat to say hello to. I guess I gained a few instant pounds when I decided not to be interested in him. Oh the joys of dating! Especially online where people can be extra bold with out any real accountability for the words.

Zipline right next to volcano Arenal

On Tuesady morning we got up bright and early to begin our adventure at the Arenal Volcano. It is one of the most active volcanos in the world. I was hoping to see some red lava but the very top of the volcano was covered by a cloud all day. We asked one of the locals where the best place to do a zipline was and he gave us directions to one right next to Arenal national park. We got a little lost because he told us to turn by the police station. We were looking for some kind of building but it turns out that police stations look more like bus stops around here. Once we got on the right road it was unpaved, very rocky and littered with gian potholes. We drove for about 5 miles on the this road praying the whole time not to pop any of our tires. We finally arrived and boy was it worth it! We took a sky tram up this mountain right next to the volcano and did 7 ziplines all the way back down. The ziplines took us across this jungle covered valley between to mountains and we could see the lake off to oneside. It was AWESOME!! Our guides were so much fun. They took a ton of pictures for us and even a video. It rained part of the time and we were soaking wet, but it was still a blast!
The veiw behinde us going up the tram

Sharon and I on the sky tram with Lake Arenal behinde us. It was a beautiful.

We got a little fruity drink after the sky tram ride up to the ziplines.... The volcano is behinde us. The top was always covered by a cloud. I was very sad :(

Check out those giant gloves.....

Getting ready for take off. I am suck a dork

And there I go ......

Coming in......

Me with giant beetle and crazy hair...
Sharon and I with our awesome zipline crew Marcos and Delroy

Monday in Costa Rica........

When it was official that we were coming to Costa Rica one of the first things I did was look online to see if there was a temple there. I was excited to see that there was one right in San Jose and I was excited to at least go the temple grounds and see it. When we arrived and our plans started changing due to luggage delays and finding out from Elder Robinson that the temple was located in kind of a more remote part of the city I gave up on the idea of us trying to find it because it would take up so much or our time. When we started our journey to Arenal we were pleased to see that we were on a highway and not through the city too much. About 45 minutes or so into our drive we had to take and exit and starting driving through a little town . We were driving along this road.....

And then out of now where we saw this big gold statue looking thing sticking right up into the sky. We both said out loud "what in the world is that?" and then in usison we realized that it was the angel Moroni and that temple was just right in front of us. Right there in the middle of this little run down part of the city. The picure right above is what you see standing out side the front entrance of the temple. I can't even describe to you what I felt right at that moment. I had chills. Isn't it strange that a vacation can strenghten my testimony? It was so random that we would just get of the highway right there and see the temple. I really think it was one of my favorite parts of this vacation. It was Monday so the temple was closed, but the guard in front opened the gate and let us park our car in the parking lot and walk around. It was definitely a highlight for me!

This was the veiw we saw of the temple was we were driving up to it....

Sharon and I in front of the temple....

Me at the front entrance of the temple......

Dedicated in 2000....

Arent these flowers beautiful? They were all over the temple grounds. There were some that were light blue and some that were light purple.

Right after we left the temple we took a few turns through the town and got onto a different highway.
As we were driving along a small stretch of the highway there was the most beautiful scenery and signs for a zoo so we decided to venture off our path and check it out. As we were driving along the road we noticed that there were what looked like little gardens with shops in front. I saw a few little road side restaurants so we decided to stop. When we got out became a little worried about how I was going to order in Spanish but it worked out pretty good. We order some Agua's con Frutas and Empanadas con Pollo and a fruit plate that had frech pineapple, papaya and bannans. It was quite good! Sharon liked it so much that we now have a favorite in our GPS labeled good fried food and fruit!

There were these crazy bird nest looking things haning right in front of the counter and almost right over where our table was. We were a little worried about a bird attack or getting pooped on :)

I don't know excatly why, but I just liked this picture. Our drinks were so yummy and it is a rare occasion that I enjoy fruity drinks, but I drank this down with no problem!

Empanada's con Pollos = delicioso

After we ate our delicious lunch we headed up the street to the zoo. The pathway right when you walked in was lined with Parrots just chillen on each side of the path. It was really cool.

Introducing Julie the Peacock.....
Me next to some really tall bamboo growing in the zoo

Look closely and you will see the snake....
I bought this cool bird whistle for Ava outside of the zoo. It makes the coolest sound and it is really easy to play..... I provided a little mood music for us on our drive with it :)

There were these giant spider webs with huge spiders living in them all over the zoo. I almost walked right into a few of them. They were a little freaky and I was ready to be done with the zoo when it was time because after my close calls I was becoming a little paranoid of giant spiders crawling on me.

The country side on the way to Arenal was breathtaking! I can't even do it justice with words. I have never seen anything like it. This is a picture of some feilds we thought were kinda cool. This was the veiw from the mountainside just across from them, but we actually drove right next to them about 20 minutes after we took this picture.

We drove past waterfalls...... some were actually very close to the car, like this one
Our GPS would beep and give us warning for speed bumps and upcoming attractions but we felt really concerned when this appeared: warning: dangerous bridge ahead. We had a TON of these on our journey to Arenal. Some definitely felt more dangerous than others, but mostly because they were one way. At times we had to wait our turn. This one in the picture below was interesting to cross because we had to go on a small unpaved part of the road that was quite bumpy and rocky. It was actually quite beautiful though with the river below and the waterfalls on the other side.

We finally made it to the hotel! By the time we made it there we were so tired and READY to get out of the car. A four hour car drive at 40mph is much different than a four hour car drive at 75 mph. The road was very curvy and narrow and I was so glad to have me feet on the ground again :) We got to our room and just layed down and slept for about 2 hours. After we were rested we explored the hotel then set out for some dinner. We ate at Luigis pizzeria and had a delicious shrimp calzone. It was quite tasty. This is me by the pool at our hotel. It had beautiful water falls and water slides. There was one "cold" pool and then on the other side there was the natural "hot" pool. We relaxed there after dinner.

This was the cool little bridge we had to walk over to get to the pool area. It was so beautiful :)

Me with my pina colada in the hot spring......

I got my suitcase!!! We had Delta deliver it all the way to the new hotel we were at which was perfet cause we actually got to do stuff other than waiting around for my bag to come in. I was so excited to be able to shave my pits, arms and legs and have some stuff to tame my hair a little bit. A shower never felt so good!

Elder Robinson and other happenings in Costa Rica

My sister Katie has a brother in law serving a mission in Costa Rica so I was sent with a package to deliver to him. He is serving near San Jose, the city we flew into, so it worked out perfectly. We checked 3 bags when we left salt lake city. Sharons bag, my bag and a package for Elder Robinson. The package was the only thing that arrived in Costa Rica with us last night. Sharon's bag made it to Atlanta and mine ended up in San Francisco some how. Luckily Sharon's bag arrived this afternoon, but I will hopefully be getting mine tomorrow afternoon. This has put quite a damper on our plans. I feel like we lost the whole day today dealing with our luggage issues. Luckily there is a huge mall right near where we are staying so I was able to go and get some makeup and some supplies to try and calm down the frizz that is taking over my head. I swear I looked like a lion when I woke up this morning! Humidity is not kind to my hair :)

We planned to meet Elder Robinson and his companion at 6pm tonight in a park in front of a Catholic Church in the town he is currently serving in. Luckily the man working in the gift shop at our hotel lived in that same city and plugged it into our GPS for us. It was the first place we went without getting lost one time! It was so fun to see Casey! He had the biggest smile on his face the whole time. He asked how all of Katie and Ryan's kids were doing and was so excited to hear the details I had to offer. Katie sent a special letter for him with pictures of the newest addition and I forgot to bring it. I felt so bad, but got his address and will mail it tomorrow so he should get it pretty quickly. We laughed when I gave him the box because it was a wine box. How funny to bring a missionary a wine box. :) Casey said how good it was to see some one that he knew and could speak English with. He was just glowing the whole time. He told us that one of their investigators was baptised last week in the ocean. How cool would that be?

I am thankful that we got to see Casey and feel of his spirit. I couldn't help but think how lucky his family is for his example.

We have plans to head up to Arenal to see the volcano there. It is supposed to be amazing if the clouds are not blocking the veiw of the top. It is a very active volcano so it should be interesing. I told Sharon we are going with my bag or without it. If the bag doesn't make it on the flight tomorrow I will just make due with the clothing I had in my carry on. This could be interesting, but what else can we do? I am not wasting any more of my vacation waiting around for a suitcase :)

And so the Adventure Begins!

I haven't mentioned this on my blog but Sharon and I have been planning a trip to Costa Rica for quite some time. I have the next week off school for Fall Break. So, after what I might call a hellish week (4 midterms, 3 quizzes, 2 labs, and 2 online assignments due) today was finally the day!

We left for the airport at 7 am to find out our plane was delayed an hour, could have used that extra hour of sleep :) Then flew to Denver, then Atlanta and finally landed in San Jose Costa Rica. While waiting for our baggage to arrive we hear our names called over the intercom. I was at the Currency Exchange counter trying to get us some money and when I looked over at Sharon the look on her face was priceless. Well, only one of our bags actually arrived in Costa Rica. The care package I am delivering to Katie's bother in law who is serving his mission. Seriously no luggage! It should be arriving tomorrow sometime after 12pm. So our plans to attend church with Elder Robinson are canceled :(

We finally made it out of customs and proceeded to the car rental counters to discover that the company we reserved a car with had decided to close the counter early tonight. It was frustrating to say the least. We talked to a few people and then the guys in charge of the Taxi's. I had a feeling that we should just wait a minute to make a decision. And then walks in the Hertz car rental guy. Turns out at this hour of the night we had to take a shuttle in town a little way to get the car. This is the point I became worried about what driving in Costa Rica might be like. A man on the plane told us we should have rented a 4X4 because all the pot holes cause flat tires quite often. He new of someone who got 3 in one trip! Then the car rental guy advised us it would come in handy to purchase tire and windsheild insurance with the rental. Hmmmm I might have some interesting flat tire stories to tell in the next few days. The best part of the car rental experience was when I was looking through the spanish to english book was have and told Sharon she was "muy frustrado". Maybe you just had to be there but it was pretty funny.

With the help of GPS we eventually made it to our hotel. We had more than a few wrong turns on the way and probably would have never made it without the GPS. Thank the heavens for modern technology! Our hotel is super nice, so that was very refreshing. The front desk guy helped us figure out the money situation and a few problems with our car. We are tired! I want my toiletries! Luckily I packed a few changes of clothes in my carry on. All I can say is that I will be a much happier camper when my luggage arrives!

On the bright side we have an amazing view of HOOTERS outside our hotel window :)

Then we discovered our curtains don't close all the way so Sharon came up with a solution..... a hair clip!

Um........

So, Ava actually thought she was going to wear this outfit today.  I don't think so!

Photo booth

Apparently Ava has discovered photo booth on my computer.  Here are few of the little treats I discovered on here today.....

There were at least 50 to choose from, and yes the first one is of her backside.  I love her sense of humor!  Never a dull moment around this house.

Emotions......

I feel like a basket case lately.  All of my emotions are very close to the surface right now.  I think that I have just been realizing how overly blessed my life is.  Some of the things I have learned in school are heart braking and discouraging and out right outrageous.  And I feel like the luckiest person in the world that I haven't had to deal with many of them first hand.  I feel lucky that so far I have managed to beat the odds in my situation. I AM SO BLESSED and I AM SO THANKFUL for all that I have!

My older sister, Katie, is having a baby practically any day now, but for sure on October 5th.  Every time I think about what it is going to be like to welcome her sweet baby boy into this world I tear up. Isn't it strange how I can love some one so much and I have never seen his face and I don't even know what his name will be.  But I all ready now that I would do anything for him and that I love him more than words can even express.

When Katie told me she was pregnant I had a lot of mixed emotions and I didn't quite know how to react.  I was so excited for this new nephew to come into our lives, but at the same time I was a little sad.  It can be hard some times to see other people all around me having the things that I want so badly.  The last year has been so hard for me in more ways than I can even talk about, but through it all I have learned the lesson that there is a time and a season for all things.  Right now my job is to finish school and enjoy that accomplishment.  My job is to keep developing my talents and establishing a career.  My job is to love Ava and teach her the things that will bring her the most happiness in the world.  And most importantly my job right now is to be a worthy temple recommend holder so that when the time is right for me I will be able to enter the temple and create an eternal family.  Then it will be my turn to have more babies.  Until that time, I am extremely blessed to share in the happiness of the babies my sister is bringing into the world.  And when the time is right, she in turn, will help me love mine too.

Just a glimpse.....

I am just a little sad that I haven't blogged a little more about all of the interesting things that I learn in school.  I am sorry that I have been keeping some of the seriously great bits of information from you all!  I have really learned some great stuff, I mean really great stuff.  I have a really tough semester ahead of me, I won't lie, but I have decided that I am going to get through it some way. So, I am going to look for the good amidst all the chaos.  That being said I am going to share what has been my favorite part of the semester so far (lucky you!).  I am taking writing 2010  this semester (and I think you all should know that I am the OLDEST person in my class, and I would be surprised if my teacher is more than 2 years older than me, in fact I may just be older than him).  My first assignment is to write a rhetorical analysis on the 2005 Kenyon College Commencement Address by David Foster Wallace.  You can find it here, read it!  I found it to be inspiring and a source of inspiration for every person.  I love it when a teacher assigns reading that I can really get into and appreciate and relate to it on a personal level.  THAT my friends is the BEST part of being a full time seeker of knowledge.  I want to share just a few parts that really struck me and spoke to me:

 "learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think.  it means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience.  Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed."

and this one is really good:  "The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.  That is real freedom.  That is being educated, and understanding how to think.  The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing."

I LOVED THIS LAST QUOTE!  I felt like it spoke to the very core of what has really given my life meaning.  I know who has taught me the essence of this kind of freedom.......

Have you learned this lesson yet?  Who gave you the gift of experiencing "freedom"?

Soccer.....

Ava has started soccer again, and if I do say so myself, she has the most stylin soccer uniform EVER!  What do you think?

 

I know, I know........

Yes, I am terribly aware that I am so far behind on updating you all on the excitement of my life! And boy is it ever exciting, but you will have to keep waiting.  Why?  Because I started school last week and I am in the middle of my I just started school and I feel like the stupidest person in the world mode. And I am wondering how I am ever going to survive this semester with my sanity, and I am grouchy, and I feel like crying, and we started soccer, and I have a young women's calling and I have to teach the combined lesson this week which causes me much anxiety, and I am frustrated with my online statistics class cause my lab book is not in stock yet and the class website is not working correctly, and...... and..... and.... my pity party list could go on and on and on.  Do you get the point?  To sum it up, right now I pretty much feel like a walking headache.  So I am going to take probably more tylenol PM than a girl should (don't take this part seriously, I am only taking 3) and hope for some much needed sleep because the last two nights have been spent tossing and turning and tossing and turning and Ava up crying because of bad dreams. Wish me luck people, it is going to be a wild ride!

Another year......

I am officially 28 today...........

I am not quite sure how I feel about this but here are a few of my thoughts on the subject:

After today I only have 1 twenty something birthday left

I am glad to be done with year 27 of my life, it was not my favorite year

I don't feel like I am 28 90% of the time and it kinda freaks me out that maybe I should act more "grown up"

The good thing about growing older is that I feel more comfortable with who I am and where I have been.

I am kinda like a fine wine..... I just get better with time! (that was supposed to be funny, just in case you took me seriously)

I had a great day!  I got up this morning and had the greatest massage.  It was just what I needed :)  After that I made a quick stop at Express (one of my most favorite places), had a great lunch at Happy Sumo with my Dad and TR.  After that I went to Katie's where she had 6 gourmet cupcakes waiting for me.  They are delicious!!!!!!  She also got me the most awesome purse EVER! Seriously I have been wanting a purse like the one she got for months and months. I will post some pictures of it in the very near future.  Then Sharon and I went to the Bountiful temple together, awesome :)  Next stop was the Texas Roadhouse with Sharon, Brad and Tyler.  The joke of the night was wether or not I was going to take a ride in the saddle, but I was off the hook cause Tyler was in pain from his recent knee surgery.  Now, I am sitting very contently on my coach eating really cute and delicious cupcakes drinking a diet Dr. Pepper and watching Sex in the City....... What more could a girl ask for?  Other than hugs and cuddles from Ava, nothing.  I am perfectly content and I am so excited to be starting a new year!  I have some goals that I am really excited about, more about that to come :)  Thanks to everyone who helped make me feel loved today.  I am very blessed :)

Stay tuned for updates from our trip to California last week......

StArGiRl = GirLs CaMp 2009

I had the privilege of being able to go to girls camp this past week and it was truly AMAZING (big thanks to Katie for watching Ava for me!) Camp is supposed to be for the growth of the girls, but I took so much away from camp this year. I feel like it was just what I needed at this particular time in my life. Our camp "theme" was Stargirl, based from the book Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli. If you have a daughter in her teenage years or approaching those years I definitely recommend this book! It is a quick and easy read and it is the best book. We have urged the girls to be as constant as the north star and to be a Stargirl in their own ways. We went to Park City for the week and stayed in the Mountainside Marriott so it wasn't very "campish" but boy oh boy was it fun! We had an activity on budgeting followed by some shopping at the outlets, movie nights, pool time, we went on a beautiful hike, went to the olympic park, did the zipline and the alpine slide, we had a pedicure and manicure night complete with paraffin wax and just spent time together having fun, strengthening our friendships and our testimonies. I came home feeling energized, happy, and motivated to try a little harder to be more like my Savior. Here is my week in pictures......
Waiting with some of the girls on Tuesday morning

Helping put away some of the groceries. Camille was in charge of the menu and she did an AMAZING job!
Me with some of the girls at the start of the hike

Me and Dana...... I don't look too excited :)
Everyone just hanging out at the waterfall at the end of our hike

All of the girls..... I love this picture! They are all so beautiful and unique.

God not only knows the names of all the stars; he knows your names and all you heartaches and your joys! - Elder Neal A. Maxwell

All the leaders (that were at camp). I love these women! They each inspire me and teach me so many things. On the drive home from the hike my brakes went out at the bottom of the hill.  While coming to a stop at the bottom of the hill were we would turn onto the highway I noticed that I was pushing the pedal down as hard as I could and that I just wasn't slowing down as quickly as I need to.  I don't know how but I was able to remain calm and just pulled my emergency brake and came within inches of hitting the car in front me.  My mind was racing.  I could smell the burnt rubber smell of brakes once I stopped.  There was a split second were I wondered if there was really a problem or what I should do.  Then the thought came into my mind that I was not to pull out onto that busy road followed by a warm comforting feeling.  Two men pulled up beside me and asked what the problem was, I told them that my brakes had gone out.  The pushed us to turn out on the side of the road and advised me that they had probably just gotten too hot and that if I waited for a bit they would probably work again.  Dan and Ginny turned around and came back to help.  I ended up being able to drive home safely and all ended well.  

In the bobsled at the olympic park. I really really want to go ride the bobsled they have at the olympic park. It has been added to my "to do" list.
Me and Dana on the alpine slide
Me and Eva on the zipline.... it was so much fun!
More zipline.....

A foot rub from Eva!
Quality time spent in the hot tub :)
Time for some star gazing......We had a couple from our ward bring their telescope up the last night and teach us a little astronomy lesson. I loved this part of camp! We got to look at the moon and see all the craters as well as Jupiter. I have never had the experience of doing this before and I thought it was awesome :)

Without the dark, we would never see the stars

Nap time with Kallie

And last but not least the fight over a jar of Nutella which were all just eating by the spoon full..... Definitely good times!

As you can see it was quite the adventure! The new song on my blog is from camp! Listen to the words, it is a great song!

"Always remember you have within you the strength, the patience and the passion to reach for the stars" Harriet Tubman

What can I say? I've been a slacker

I have totally neglected my blog! There has been so much excitement to share with the world, and I have totally neglected to do it. So, just I can feel somewhat accomplished I am posting a picture. Enjoy! and maybe one of these days I will feel ambitious enough to give the whole update. Happy summer :)

Gum Bubbles!

Last week Ava and I spent in Island Park Idaho with my Mom, Rod, Becca and Nick and had such a blast! We took lots of pictures and I will post some on Wednesday when my Mom and Becca come back into town. So for now, just some cute pictures of me and Savannah. Saturday afternoon Savannah and I spent some quality time seeing who could blow the biggest bubble with their gum. It was so much fun! It has been awhile since I have spend some one on one time with Savannah, she has grown up so much lately! I am so lucky to be her auntie :)

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day Dad! I love you very much and I am so very grateful for all that you have given me and taught me through out my life. You are a wonderful Dad and Grandpa!

I love Summer!

Ava and Tyler driving the boat! She was pretty excited about this, especially cause Tyler let her honk the horn while she was driving. She was just beaming! On another note, I tried to get her in the tube today and she screamed bloody murder! We have some work to do on the actually getting in the water part of boating.

All I can say is that I have LOVED being home the past 6 weeks. It is so great to be home with my girl all day long. Yes, there are trying times when I wish that I could just have a break for a few hours, but more than not I am loving spending this time with her. I feel so very blessed to have the opportunity to just be at home with her this summer. I am trying to make the best of everyday because I know it just may be the last time I just get to be home with my girl. I only have one class this summer on Tuesday night so my school load is very small, which I am loving, especially because I managed to save all the "harder" no fun classes for my last semester :(. This last week we have gone on a few walks, we went to the Children's Museum, Kangaroo Zoo, and today was spent at the lake. Next week we are headed to Island Park with my Mom and her crew. So excited for that! I have been reading like a crazy woman and have made a good dent in the stack of must reads I have been collecting for the past 18 months! Ava is leaving next week to spend the week at her Dad's, this is the only time she will be gone before I start school, so I need to think of a few "adventurous" things to do while she is away. Life feels pretty good right now!

How much do you like fry sauce?

Fry sauce is most definitely a "utah thing", but is pretty good. But do you think it is good enough to just drink it right out of the cup? My nephew Luka sure does! He loves to dip his food in any kind of sauce actually, but this particular day dipping wasn't enough so he just picked the cup up and poured it straight into his mouth! On Monday Katie and I decided to meet up for lunch with the kids at Carls Jr. for some lunch. Luka was only dipping his fries and then sucking off the fry sauce. Katie told him to start talking some bites. He obediently took a bite of his fry, then got this disgusted look on his face, stuck out his tongue and wiped the fry off. Man I love that kid!

Memory Monday

Can you believe this was 9 years ago?

Makin' me smile....

How can you not smile when you see this?

Happy Birthday Grammy!

Today is my Mom's Birthday. We wish that we could be with her to celebrate this special day, but we won't get to see her for a few more weeks. Here is Ava's rendition of Happy Birthday, she is quite the ham and can't seem to remember songs very well. We are working on it :)

Lagoon!

This is my favorite! Ava and Alex on the Tilt a Wirl. I think we went on this one like 5 times!

Cassidy, Alex and Ava! Aren't they the cutes friends!

More Tilt a Wirl fun!

Ava and Alex

Ava laughing on one of the rides! Isn't she too cute?

Love how big her smile is! We were seriously laughing so hard!

Ava playing in the fountain :)
I took Ava to Lagoon today, and I must admit I was pleasantly surprised!  I wasn't all that excited about going.  I haven't been to Lagoon since I was 12 so I had no idea what to expect at all.  There were so many fun rides that Ava could go on and she absolutely loved it!  She is quite the little dare devil and loved the "fast" rides.  When we met up with our friends Mandi and Alex she only wanted to go on rides with Alex and not me!  I was a little nervous watching her on some of the rides without me being right beside her.  Mandi and I also did the catapult and it was SO MUCH FUN!  We paid for the video but when I went back to get it they had lost it.  They refunded our money, but I was so sad to not get to see the video:(  I love the pictures of Ava on the rides, she would just laugh her head off.  I loved seeing her so happy!

I am taking it back.....

Everyone always says "time heals all wounds",  I even just said it on my blog about two months ago.  But, the last two weeks have changed my mind on this.  I don't believe that time HEALS anything.  I think it gives us the chance to change our perspective, to change our plans, to change our selves, or to replace what has been lost.  It is more like an anesthetic, it numbs the pain, rather than completely healing.  I don't know exactly how people heal from the heart brake we all encounter through this life.  I really have NO IDEA.  I think it is just a process that we all have to endure and that we have to give ourselves time to heal ourselves.  Time doesn't do the healing, we do it ourselves.  I thought I was doing a good job at getting better, and I really was.  I was happy, smiling, singing in the car again, and I was just feeling great.  But the last few weeks it has all hit my like a truck again.  It makes me feel so stupid that I feel this way, but I do.  The pain in my chest has made its presence fully known and I feel, once again, like I am drowning in it again.  I have officially lost all faith that time will heal me.  

Kind of Random, but I liked it!

There is no hiding what you are. Day you try, is the day you die. Stand tall, smile bright, and let em wonder what secret's making you laugh.

Chuck E Cheese

Ava has been asking for weeks and weeks for me to take her to Chuck E Cheese. So last Friday I took her and I must admit that it was actually pretty fun. I love this picture of us too! I miss her so much, and can't wait until Saturday morning when I get to pick her up and love on her :) This trip has been high anxiety for me and I just can't wait to know that she is home safe and sound.

CHER! CHER! CHER!

This weekend was so much fun!!!! I went to Vegas to see Cher.  This may seem a little strange to some, but seriously I LOVE CHER!!!!  Everything about her, her music, her sass, her crazy half way naked clothes and even crazier wigs.  I just love it.  She is the definition of Diva, at least in my book.  I was planning to do Vegas in style all by myself, but I was lucky enough to have Sharon join me!  We had so much fun.  My Dad put us up in an awesome suite at the Venetian, nicest hotel room I have ever stayed in!  We ate yummy food, played a little Roulette, ate more food, laid by the pool, watched a really good movie (I think it was called 12 Rounds, you should see it, it was a good flick), shopped, and of course saw Cher!!!!!!  All I can say is that it did not disappoint!  She came down from the very top of the Colosseum decked out in sparkly, shiny, gold, spectacular gaudiness from head to toe!  I loved it!  Her show was none stop and she wore a different out fit for every single song.  My words could never do it justice, really.  This may sound dramatic, but it was really a dream come true for me to see Cher.  Years ago when she did her "last show"  I was so sad that I would never get to see her, so when I heard she was in Vegas I just had to go.  Did I mention that I loved it?!?!?!


As we were walking through the airport to come home last night I kept doing my version of the skip walk Cher did at the concert, and I seriously do it just as good as she does, Sharon was busting up! She said "I have been waiting for Julie to come to Vegas all weekend, and now she shows up right when we were leaving!" It was pretty funny. I guess I was being a little quieter than my usual self. But it was so great to get away from "life" for a few days. And did I mention that I LOVE CHER?!?!?!

Fun! Fun! Fun!

It has been so great to have some time off!  I have enjoyed being home with my girl, and I think she is enjoying it as well.  I bought her a new bike last week and she was thrilled!  She has spent tons of time playing outside with her bike and her friends!  I am also happy to announce that I got a 99% on the final that cause me so much stress!  WOO HOO!!!! So happy that turned out well. Not all of my grades for the semester have been posted but as of right now I have a 3.49 GPA, which I will not complain about :)  Life is Good!

My Mother.....

I should have done this last night, but by the time we got home from a long day I had completely lost my mojo to do anything but lay on the couch. So I am wishing my Mother a late Happy Mothers Day! There is no body in the world quite like a Mother. She is my safe place in the world, the place I think of running to first when I need comfort and reassurance. There is nothing in this world that makes me feel better than I hug from her. She know just they way I like them, and she never pulls away first :) I don't think I ever fully appreciated my Mom until I was about to become one. It was then that I realized that she didn't know everything and that she wasn't perfect, but that her love for me was perfect and that is what made her the best Mom she could possibly be. Perfect, unconditional, eternal love. I have so many wonderful memories of my Mom. I remember her rocking me in the rocking chair in the very front room of the first house we lived in. She was the best Mom to have at bedtime. We had this long list of different kinds of kisses we would do every night and she would always sing me the most beautiful lullaby. I do some of those same kisses with Ava every night and we love it. The day before Ava was born we spent the whole day together, just hanging out and getting the last minute stuff ready. I was so scared that day, but having her there gave me the reassurance that everything would be all right, cause she was there and she would protect me. I knew that if she was there I could handle everything and that when the time came for me to break down she would hold me, and she did. I don't think I could have made it through that first week of being a Mother without her. She left me as prepared as I could have been, she even stocked my cupboards before she left. The most valuable thing my Mother has taught me is to never give up on people. She never ever gave up on me, even when she though I was a hopeless case. She never stopped loving me and when the time came she rescued. She new when the time was right and she was ready and waiting. She was the light that came to me in my darkest hour. She didn't judge me or tell me how stupid I had been, she just helped me get out, no questions asked. I spent a lot of time at her little house in Syracuse when I first moved here and I will cherish that time forever. I could not have asked for anyone better to leave my tiny new baby with than my Mom. When I came home from work everyday Ava was happy and smiling. I will never be able to repay my Mom for everything she has sacrificed and given to me. All I can do is promise to pay it forward with my own daughter (and hopefully future children). She has shown me just how to do it, and when things are getting crazy I try and put myself in her shoes and do things the way she would. I love you Mom!

Grandma Clark

What an amazing woman! Seriously, I don't think that there is anyone quite as amazing as my Grandma Clark. I will forever be inspired by her optimism and simple joy she had for life. I loved going to my Grandma's house to visit every summer. The drive to Utah felt like it took days! I loved when we would finally pull into her driveway and then run inside to hug and kiss her. Hugs were unlimited from her, which is a definite plus for me. I grew up in California, so we grew up far from family. But, there was one amazing year that my Grandparents came to live in Corcoran. I loved riding my bike to there apartment for a visit. She was a wonderful cook and I loved having Sunday dinner every week when they lived close by.I remember one summer day when I was probably 19 or 20 laying on her bed talking to her about some of the decisions I was making. I remember her just telling me do the right thing and I would be happy. It was as simple as that, do that right thing. I could see the look of sadness in her eyes because she new I wasn't planning to do the right thing, because at that phase in my life I would have never admitted to not knowing everything and doing the wrong thing felt so much easier than changing my life. I should have taken her advice that day, it would have saved me more heartache than I will probably ever know. My Grandma died this past November, and in death she taught me an invaluable lesson. I learned to never take the people we love for granted. I have lived in Utah for four years now and I wish with all my heart that I would have visited her more in that time. I think we all tend to get wrapped up in the busyness of life, and most of what we are busy with are not the most important things. She is gone now, and I can't just get in the car and drive up for an afternoon visit. I wish I would have done that more! Luckily for me, we have the blessing of being an eternal family, so one day, if I play my cards right, I will have the chance for more afternoon visits with her.

Grandma Harris....

Sunday is Mother's Day so I thought it would be fun to pay tribute to the wonderful women I have had in my life. I want to start with my sweet Grandma Harris. There never has been or ever will be another person like her in the world. I have many special memories of my sweet Grandma. I remember the long skirts she used to wear, the way should would always get down on the floor and play games with me for as long as I wanted, the tea parties she used to have for me and my cousins, her spunk, and mostly the love she had for me. My Grandma taught me one of the most valuable lesson in the world, and she probably doesn't even know it. My Grandma died almost exactly one month before Ava was born. We knew her time was limited so my Mom flew me out to Utah so I could say goodbye. We didn't think she would make it through the night so when my flight landed we went straight to the hospital. It was so overwhelming to walk into that hospital room and see her laying there looking so small and fragile in that big hospital bed. Well, she didn't die that night, she actually hung on for the rest of the week! But during that week my heart began to change. It was sitting there in that hospital room surrounded by my family that I realized how important all of those people were to me. I realized how important family is to me. It is hard to describe in words the feelings that I felt, but it was sitting there in that room that I really started to know what I had to for the baby girl that would soon be entering my world. I knew that I wanted her to grow up surrounded by the love that I felt in that room. I knew that she needed to grow up with knowing her family and that my best chance at giving her a family would be to move to Utah. I fought that feeling for some time, but eventually I mustered up the courage to do it. So, my Grandma's most valuable lesson to me was the importance of family. The importance of being here for each other, no matter the choices we make. The last time I really saw my Grandma, before she was dying, she took both of my shoulders in her hands, and with tears in her eyes, told me I needed to come home and let my family help me. I will never forget that! It is my belief that she and Ava spent one precious month together and that my Grandma told her to bring me home. I think a little of her spunk must have rubbed off on Ava. I miss my Grandma Harris so much! She was an amazing, beautiful women for which I feel lucky to have known.

This......

is what I wish we could do tomorrow.......

I am almost done with the semester!!! This week has been exhausting and stressful to say the least. Since Sunday I have written 3 papers, taken 4 exams, read way too much material to make sense of, and all with limited sleep, because when I sleep I dream about finding sources to back up my opinions and rehearse material have been studying. All I can say is, is that kind of sleep is not very restful. I had what I thought was going to be my easy final this morning. I read over the simple study guide my professor posted and basically it was if you have completed all the assignments you should have no problems on the exam. Piece of cake, because I was very diligent in completing every last one of those monotonous assignments! I arrived at the testing center a little early took one quick over the main point highlighted in my notes and with confidence began the test....

This is where things started to get a little out of control. I quickly cruised through the multiple choice and true false question with out any problems. Then there was a place on the test for a key with a hypothesis of what I was supposed to be analyzing and there was no information to analyze. No graph. No chart. No scatterplot. NOTHING! I looked through the rest of the test to find the same results, nothing to analyze! I was sitting there feeling a little like this......

except in a quiet, hot and stuffy room with about 15 other people. I seriously wanted to just start crying. All I could think was, what the crap is happening right now. Did I miss something really important on the study guide that said I needed to memorize the number of women who are against abortion, and how many women were polled, and the list can go on and on. All I could of was how I was going to lose my A grade in this class and that all the house of analyzing those stupid graphs would be worthless if I did not get and A in this class. I wanted to go ask the proctor if there was a possibility that she neglected to give me part of the test, but when I went in she told me that if I left the room I was done with the test. I was seriously starting to sweat. Then the proctor came in and I waved her over, she took me out with her but she had no help for me. The test was what she had, and that was all she could do for me. I was pissed, to say the least. I went back in and just started filling in answers from what I could remember from doing the assignments, literally fighting back tears the whole time. I felt so silly for feeling so emotional over a grade, but I don't want to just jump through hoops and end with a C average, I want A's. 

Luckily about 5 long minutes of suffering the proctor came back for me. What she said was music to my ears! She had just received an email that there were problems with the test. YES! I then talked to the guy from the main campus testing center and tried to communicate exactly what the problems were, he then called my professor and we got the problem solved. It took about 30 minutes of waiting, but I got the right test! After that is was a literal breeze! But seriously I was freaking out! When I got to my car all I could do was sit there and cry. Everything that I have been carrying around me just came out and I cried.

I cried because it was over!

I cried because I am now one step closer to being done. Done with this crazy semester and done with school.

I cried because I am one step closer to being the person I want my Ava to know

I cried because everyday when she wakes up Ava asks if we can just stay home together

I cried because I am lonely and feel like that part of my life is never going to end

I cried because I question whether or not I can really do this, and because I am afraid of failing

I cried because I wished that I could finish me last final, come home and back my bags and go to Hawaii again

I cried because I know I have to let that dream go, and doing that hurts like hell

I cried because I don't want to feel so broken anymore 

I cried because on Tuesday morning Ava told me she was proud of me and that i was the best Mom and she loved me, and that makes all of the crap I have to deal with worth it!

I cried because I just need a hug from my Mom because nothing makes me feel better than her hugs when I feel the way I do now