Saturday, January 30, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Lazy? I think not......
Women do not have to sacrifice personhood if they are mothers. They do not have to sacrifice motherhood in order to be persons. Liberation was meant to expand women's opportunities, not to limit them. The self-esteem that has been found in new pursuits can also be found in mothering. -Elaine Heffner
I randomly came across this quote the other night and love it. This morning I was feeling lazy for having spent and hour and a half just cuddling on the couch with Ava. There are a ton of things I need to get done today, so I was feeling guilty for "wasting time". But then I remembered that my days of cuddling with her this way are becoming limited. I will be working again soon, she is growing so fast, she will be in school before I know it, and sadly enough she might out grow wanting to be held like that. So, I am going to take advantage of every opportunity to cuddle her, read books to her, play go fish with her, tuck her in at night, make all her meals, answer her questions, and tell her I love her with kisses on her cheeks, because soon enough she will out grow all of those things. I am going to enjoy being a mother, because it really is the best thing I will ever be and the best thing I could ever do with my life. It is a central part of my "personhood".
I randomly came across this quote the other night and love it. This morning I was feeling lazy for having spent and hour and a half just cuddling on the couch with Ava. There are a ton of things I need to get done today, so I was feeling guilty for "wasting time". But then I remembered that my days of cuddling with her this way are becoming limited. I will be working again soon, she is growing so fast, she will be in school before I know it, and sadly enough she might out grow wanting to be held like that. So, I am going to take advantage of every opportunity to cuddle her, read books to her, play go fish with her, tuck her in at night, make all her meals, answer her questions, and tell her I love her with kisses on her cheeks, because soon enough she will out grow all of those things. I am going to enjoy being a mother, because it really is the best thing I will ever be and the best thing I could ever do with my life. It is a central part of my "personhood".
Monday, January 25, 2010
Five years ago......
The fact that it has been five years since I moved to good old Utah has been weighing heavily on my mind the last few weeks. It has become the way that I measure time. Like I have a life before five years ago and then the life I have now. I feel like things have almost come full circle with that huge, drastic, life changing move. I didn't have much of a plan, didn't know what would happen with my life, didn't have money or a job, didn't really even have a place to live that I could call "home". All I knew is that my life needed to change, and in a BIG way. And that is has. I can't even describe how excited I am about walking across that stage and getting my degree. I don't even know how I am going to do it without crying and making a fool of myself. It isn't even the happiness of graduating, but more the feeling that I am not a failure after all and that I have managed to beat the odds given to me in my situation. I also think it is cool that Ava will remember the event. It just makes it that much more special to me. It hasn't been the easiest road to travel, and I have definitely not done it alone, but seriously, looking back I have been the HAPPIEST I have ever been in my life. EVER. All though there have been hard days, and hard choices, and lots of hard work, it has all been worth it. The other night I was sitting in my apartment and looked around and thought, wow, who would have ever thought? I have been blessed beyond even my own comprehension. This single Mom thing has definitely been harder than I ever imagined it would be. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but honestly I am comforted daily in knowing that things will keep working out if I do what I know is right and keep on keeping on. I can't believe Ava is growing up so fast. She doesn't even have any baby look left. She is so smart, well adjusted, out spoken, inquisitive, funny, loving, sassy, and the list can go on and on. But really, she never ceases to amaze me. She wants me to be a better person and I am a better person because I am her Mom. Life is truly good! Here's to the next five years...... can't wait to see where they take me :)
Saturday, January 23, 2010
My week.....
My Dad and Nan gave me some money for Christmas. There was really nothing that I was really really wanting at the time so I decided to put the money aside and wait for something to come up. Well, I randomly came across a super cute leather chair on Overstock.com. It was on a pretty sale and I had a 10% off coupon so I bought it! I was so excited for it to come and it came way faster than I expected it to. I had to wrestle it out of the box (embarrassingly enough I even broke a sweat) and even managed to put the chair together all by myself. Brad and Sharon gave me a tool set for Christmas that came in quite handy too. I love the chair! Like seriously LOVE it. It just ties my living room together and just makes everything look so much better. It was exactly what I didn't know I've been wanting. Super Awesome! Thanks Dad and Nan :)
Ava got home Tuesday night. She was due in at 10:30pm but due to the crazy weather conditions in southern California she didn't get in until 12:00AM. That made for a very tired me and a very tired Ava. So tired in fact that I let her just crawl into be with me when we got home. I did make sure to tell Ava that sleeping with me would not be a daily thing, but for late nights and special occasions we could bend the rules ;) Ava got to spend tons of time with her cousins this week, which she loved. Katie and Ryan helped me out twice this week with watching Ava so I could go to New Beginnings on Wednesday night and then I have a class on Thursday nights (Katie and Ryan will be watching Ava every week while I got to school, for which I am VERY thankful for). Ava and I watched the kiddos on Friday after noon and then she got to go over again today while Katie and I had a girls lunch out to celebrate our good friends birthday. Ava had a rough day on Friday! She got huge scratch on her face, slammed her finger in the door and took off a good chunk of skin and then to end the day she ran into Savannah's bedroom door and now has a pretty good black eye. Poor girl :(
Friday night we went to my friend Lyndsy's for game night and I seriously had so much fun. I re-learned how to play a super fun card game, hand and foot. We also played a game called the game of things. It was so much fun and at one point I laughed so hard I peed my pants just a little! Don't judge, I have the smallest bladder of anyone you have ever met, hadn't gone to the bathroom in a record 2 hours and I have birthed a child. I also went to school and started my internship, more to come on that later! '
Whew I am tired. Ava snapped this picture of me tonight....
Ava got home Tuesday night. She was due in at 10:30pm but due to the crazy weather conditions in southern California she didn't get in until 12:00AM. That made for a very tired me and a very tired Ava. So tired in fact that I let her just crawl into be with me when we got home. I did make sure to tell Ava that sleeping with me would not be a daily thing, but for late nights and special occasions we could bend the rules ;) Ava got to spend tons of time with her cousins this week, which she loved. Katie and Ryan helped me out twice this week with watching Ava so I could go to New Beginnings on Wednesday night and then I have a class on Thursday nights (Katie and Ryan will be watching Ava every week while I got to school, for which I am VERY thankful for). Ava and I watched the kiddos on Friday after noon and then she got to go over again today while Katie and I had a girls lunch out to celebrate our good friends birthday. Ava had a rough day on Friday! She got huge scratch on her face, slammed her finger in the door and took off a good chunk of skin and then to end the day she ran into Savannah's bedroom door and now has a pretty good black eye. Poor girl :(
Friday night we went to my friend Lyndsy's for game night and I seriously had so much fun. I re-learned how to play a super fun card game, hand and foot. We also played a game called the game of things. It was so much fun and at one point I laughed so hard I peed my pants just a little! Don't judge, I have the smallest bladder of anyone you have ever met, hadn't gone to the bathroom in a record 2 hours and I have birthed a child. I also went to school and started my internship, more to come on that later! '
Whew I am tired. Ava snapped this picture of me tonight....
Saturday, January 16, 2010
As of late.......
Just a few big and small things that have been going on in my world lately.....
Ava is now sleeping in her own bed! Yes, she is five, what can I say? I haven't really minded sharing my bed with her, but alas I was ready to take my space back. People have given me the business about letting her sleep with me for so long, but whatever. I'm the Mom and I can do things the way I want, so there.
Ava took her second solo flight to Cali last night. I always look forward to my "break" but then I always end up missing her with in half a day or so. There is a perfect song lyric that sums up how I feel when she is gone.... Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
I started my last semester!!!! It is going to be a breeze. Let's hope finding a job is just has breezy.
I spent some of my Christmas $$ this week and sometime in the next 6 weeks an awesome black leather chair will find a new home in my living room.
I went to a bar tonight to see a comedy show with a friend and the strangest thing happened. I felt some what out of place. Never would have thought that would happen to me, but it did. Strange.
I am back on Weight Watchers due to 20 pounds mysteriously taking up residence on my body over the last 6 months. Not cool. In fact this chubbiness is making me crabby, so I am declaring war on it.
My wii fit age is 45. Ummmm..... pathetic. I am living in a body that is so out of shape that according to the wii I all ready know physically what it feels like to be 45. The sad thing is is that I am missing out on the knowledge of knowing what it feels like to live in the body of a 28 year old. This must change.
I moved to Utah 5 years ago as of this month. I can't believe it has been so long. I didn't have much of plan when I moved. I just new that my life needed a drastic change so I jumped off the cliff....... There really are no adequate words to describe the miracles that have been taking place in my life since taking that giant leap of faith.
The last month I have grown a new appreciation of unanswered prayers. Mostly thankful to have peace of mind that things have worked out just as they should have. Unanswered prayers are definitely gifts from God, but really, in my eyes, the greatest gift he gives us is the feeling of peace after the storm calms and all is silent. The moment when in your own way you come to know that all is well and as it should be. Peace and acceptance are the real gift.
It was two years ago that I quit my job as an assistant general manager at Jamb Juice. Wow, time flies.
When Ava was walking into preschool one day last week she stopped to wave and blow me a kiss. My heart ached a little knowing that all too soon I will be back to working full time and missing those small moments with her that I love so much. The last two years of being the closest to a stay at home mother as I will ever come have been a precious and irreplaceable gift to me. I will cherish them always.
I read this quote on a blog I read everyday and think that it pretty much sums up a lot of what I have been thinking lately........
"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are." Enough said.
Ava is now sleeping in her own bed! Yes, she is five, what can I say? I haven't really minded sharing my bed with her, but alas I was ready to take my space back. People have given me the business about letting her sleep with me for so long, but whatever. I'm the Mom and I can do things the way I want, so there.
Ava took her second solo flight to Cali last night. I always look forward to my "break" but then I always end up missing her with in half a day or so. There is a perfect song lyric that sums up how I feel when she is gone.... Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
I started my last semester!!!! It is going to be a breeze. Let's hope finding a job is just has breezy.
I spent some of my Christmas $$ this week and sometime in the next 6 weeks an awesome black leather chair will find a new home in my living room.
I went to a bar tonight to see a comedy show with a friend and the strangest thing happened. I felt some what out of place. Never would have thought that would happen to me, but it did. Strange.
I am back on Weight Watchers due to 20 pounds mysteriously taking up residence on my body over the last 6 months. Not cool. In fact this chubbiness is making me crabby, so I am declaring war on it.
My wii fit age is 45. Ummmm..... pathetic. I am living in a body that is so out of shape that according to the wii I all ready know physically what it feels like to be 45. The sad thing is is that I am missing out on the knowledge of knowing what it feels like to live in the body of a 28 year old. This must change.
I moved to Utah 5 years ago as of this month. I can't believe it has been so long. I didn't have much of plan when I moved. I just new that my life needed a drastic change so I jumped off the cliff....... There really are no adequate words to describe the miracles that have been taking place in my life since taking that giant leap of faith.
The last month I have grown a new appreciation of unanswered prayers. Mostly thankful to have peace of mind that things have worked out just as they should have. Unanswered prayers are definitely gifts from God, but really, in my eyes, the greatest gift he gives us is the feeling of peace after the storm calms and all is silent. The moment when in your own way you come to know that all is well and as it should be. Peace and acceptance are the real gift.
It was two years ago that I quit my job as an assistant general manager at Jamb Juice. Wow, time flies.
When Ava was walking into preschool one day last week she stopped to wave and blow me a kiss. My heart ached a little knowing that all too soon I will be back to working full time and missing those small moments with her that I love so much. The last two years of being the closest to a stay at home mother as I will ever come have been a precious and irreplaceable gift to me. I will cherish them always.
I read this quote on a blog I read everyday and think that it pretty much sums up a lot of what I have been thinking lately........
"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are." Enough said.
Friday, January 01, 2010
What is Christmas?
Christmas is the holiday we celebrate from December 1st- December 25th.
Christmas is going to the Christmas tree lot with Brad and Sharon to pick out the "perfect tree" and then decorating it
Christmas is listening to the Oak Ridge Boys and Kenny and Dolly Christmas CD's non-stop
Christmas is going to temple square to marvel at the beauty of the temple grounds covered in lights and making memories with the beautiful young women I love so much
Christmas is finishing finals, then breathing a huge sigh of relief
Christmas is shopping, and feeling excited about finding "the perfect" gift for the ones you love
Christmas is making temple pictures with Katie and discovering my mad staple gun skills
Christmas is shoveling snow
Christmas is taking Ava to see Santa Clause and seeing the excitement in her eyes while she talks to "the fat man"
Christmas is Katie doing 80% of my present wrapping :)
Christmas is finally getting ALL my decorations up the week before the actual day
Christmas is opening presents, breakfast for dinner and of course an Aggie game with my Dad and Nan
Christmas is taking Ava to see Princess and the Frog, twice
Christmas is Ava singing "redolph" and telling me and Sharon not to bust up
Christmas is the Young Women doing the 12 days of Christmas for me
Christmas is eating and eating and then eating some more.... the orange rolls were definitely a high light
Christmas is planning menus
Christmas is driving through town to see all the beautiful lights
Christmas is driving to Logan in a crazy snow storm, seeing my grandpa, cousins, aunts and uncles, missing my Grandma, and getting stuck in Logan due to crazy snow storm
Christmas is drinking hot chocolate
Christmas is Luka eating so much candy that he puked and then immediately going right for the box of See's chocolates
Christmas is making sugar cookies for the kids to decorate and for the big girls to eat :)
Christmas is playing Trains and What Where You Thinking
Christmas is trying to guess who the alien in the room is
Christmas is seeing my cute Grandpa Harris three times, oh how I love that man
Christmas is talking to Tricia for hours at a time
Christmas is hot peppermint baths, warm fuzzy socks and my sexy gray bathrobe
Christmas is getting to see Becca freak out about her hair not being straight enough
Christmas is spending tons of time with my sisters
Christmas is getting a magic key for Santa
Christmas is the kids acting out the nativity and then sharing their talents with everyone
Christmas is leaving cookies and milk out for Santa
Christmas is a new camera, UGGS, cash, the opportunity to make a memory with Ava in 2010, new books, cold stone cards, new dishes, the cutest new watch, a Jewelry Tree.... and more!
Christmas is discovering that I need a massaging eye mask
Christmas is a new scooter, games, art supplies, a new doll bed, a piano and lessons, play doh, doll clothes, new movies, books, new clothes, barbie and hot air balloon carriage....
Christmas is getting to spend the holiday with my Mom for the first time in six years
Christmas is Ava telling Brad to "turn on his engine and get over here"
Christmas is Brad and Ava being..... well, Brad and Ava
Christmas is Ava declaring her favorite Christmas song Hard Candy Christmas by Dolly Parton
Christmas is giving and receiving
Christmas is seeing the sparkle of excitement and magic in Ava's eyes
Christmas is strengthening our relationships with the people we love most in the world
Christmas is growing in my appreciation for my Savior Jesus Christ, his birth, his life, his example,and his unconditional love.
I am thankful for all that i have been blessed with. Christmas was busy, fun, and practically perfect in every way.
Christmas is going to the Christmas tree lot with Brad and Sharon to pick out the "perfect tree" and then decorating it
Christmas is listening to the Oak Ridge Boys and Kenny and Dolly Christmas CD's non-stop
Christmas is going to temple square to marvel at the beauty of the temple grounds covered in lights and making memories with the beautiful young women I love so much
Christmas is finishing finals, then breathing a huge sigh of relief
Christmas is shopping, and feeling excited about finding "the perfect" gift for the ones you love
Christmas is making temple pictures with Katie and discovering my mad staple gun skills
Christmas is shoveling snow
Christmas is taking Ava to see Santa Clause and seeing the excitement in her eyes while she talks to "the fat man"
Christmas is Katie doing 80% of my present wrapping :)
Christmas is finally getting ALL my decorations up the week before the actual day
Christmas is opening presents, breakfast for dinner and of course an Aggie game with my Dad and Nan
Christmas is taking Ava to see Princess and the Frog, twice
Christmas is Ava singing "redolph" and telling me and Sharon not to bust up
Christmas is the Young Women doing the 12 days of Christmas for me
Christmas is eating and eating and then eating some more.... the orange rolls were definitely a high light
Christmas is planning menus
Christmas is driving through town to see all the beautiful lights
Christmas is driving to Logan in a crazy snow storm, seeing my grandpa, cousins, aunts and uncles, missing my Grandma, and getting stuck in Logan due to crazy snow storm
Christmas is drinking hot chocolate
Christmas is Luka eating so much candy that he puked and then immediately going right for the box of See's chocolates
Christmas is making sugar cookies for the kids to decorate and for the big girls to eat :)
Christmas is playing Trains and What Where You Thinking
Christmas is trying to guess who the alien in the room is
Christmas is seeing my cute Grandpa Harris three times, oh how I love that man
Christmas is talking to Tricia for hours at a time
Christmas is hot peppermint baths, warm fuzzy socks and my sexy gray bathrobe
Christmas is getting to see Becca freak out about her hair not being straight enough
Christmas is spending tons of time with my sisters
Christmas is getting a magic key for Santa
Christmas is the kids acting out the nativity and then sharing their talents with everyone
Christmas is leaving cookies and milk out for Santa
Christmas is a new camera, UGGS, cash, the opportunity to make a memory with Ava in 2010, new books, cold stone cards, new dishes, the cutest new watch, a Jewelry Tree.... and more!
Christmas is discovering that I need a massaging eye mask
Christmas is a new scooter, games, art supplies, a new doll bed, a piano and lessons, play doh, doll clothes, new movies, books, new clothes, barbie and hot air balloon carriage....
Christmas is getting to spend the holiday with my Mom for the first time in six years
Christmas is Ava telling Brad to "turn on his engine and get over here"
Christmas is Brad and Ava being..... well, Brad and Ava
Christmas is Ava declaring her favorite Christmas song Hard Candy Christmas by Dolly Parton
Christmas is giving and receiving
Christmas is seeing the sparkle of excitement and magic in Ava's eyes
Christmas is strengthening our relationships with the people we love most in the world
Christmas is growing in my appreciation for my Savior Jesus Christ, his birth, his life, his example,and his unconditional love.
I am thankful for all that i have been blessed with. Christmas was busy, fun, and practically perfect in every way.
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