Part of me in 100

1. I have no middle name

2. I am a mother, sister, daughter, aunt, and friend

3. I hate oranges and bananas, with a passion

4. I have never broken a bone

5. I shave my arms (I hate body hair!)

6. My favorite color to wear is black

7. I will be 27 this year :(

8. I am only 5'1"

9. I love to get pedicures

10. My favorite movie is Steel Magnolia's

11. I listen to the Morning Zoo on 97.1 zht every morning.  It never fails to make me laugh out loud at least once!

12. I finally joined the 21st century in December!  I now have an i-pod, cable, a computer, and the internet.  Yeah!

13. I pray every day for my "prince charming" to find me or for me to find him. 

14. I am excellent at multi-tasking

15. I have two sisters who are completely fab!

16. I also have 9 step brothers and sisters

17 I am the oldest single grand child on my Dad's side of the family

18. I hate wearing dresses and shorts

19. I wear make up everyday

20. I have two tattoos

21. I really, really want to do the Amazing Race with Katie

22. I peed on the 50 yard line of the football field when I was in High School. Stupid, huh?

23. I have been to the Apollo theatre in harlem

24. I cannot sing, not at all.  If you don't believe me ask my fam

25. I HATE cats

26. I love Coca Cola, haven't a had the real thing in weeks!  

27. I have learned the hard way that there really is life after love, and it is even better than I imagined it would be

28. I have a serious love of junk food

29. I prefer veggies over fruit

30. I am very uncorrdinated

31.  I hate crying in front of people and avoid it at all costs

32. I love the beach, but I love it more at night when you can mostly just hear the waves and the sand is cold on your feet

33. cereal is one of my favorite foods

34. I could eat "breakfast" food for every meal

35. I don't like left overs, ewww

36. I am a wimp when it comes to pain

37. As a child I would tell people I was allergic to work when asked if I had an allergies

38. I have been present at the birth of my niece and one of my nephews

39. I was in labor with Ava for 22 hours.  22 very long hours for every one involved, remember I am a wimp

40. There is almost nothing better than a home cooked meal at my Moms table

41. I love to swim

42. I got my tonsils out when I was 12 and really thought I would die from it

43. My sisters call me "the brother"

44. I tend to be a push over sometimes

45. I am genuine

46. Other girls scare me

47. I can be both really smart and very air headed at the same time

48. I am really good at multi-tasking

49. I hate being barefoot and always have shoes, socks or slippers on

50. I am currently a college student, for the second time

51. I will hopefully get a degree in Social Work

52. Plan B is a sociology degree

53. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I decided to become a mother

54. That being said it has been the most rewarding thing to ever happen to me

55. My favorite store to shop at is Express

56. I love to read and have a stack of books that are calling my name

57. I was a cheerleader in high school

58. I hate rules 

59.  I am very independent

60. I am terrible at math

61. My favorite perfume is Breath Romance from bath and body works

62. I probably kiss Ava's cheeks at least a 100 times everyday

63. I have the worst habit of hitting the snooze button for an hour before finally dragging myself out of bed

64. I went to San Diego State right after high school and it was one of the best years of my life

65. I look just like my Dad

66. I am sentimental

67. All of my friends are older than me

68. I am right handed

69. I have super thick hair, seriously enough for two people

70. I am very messy, my mom says that I leave a trail behind me where ever I go, and just the other day I realized she is right

71. If I had more money I would so pay someone to clean up after me

72. I have never met a doughnut I didn't like

73. I am shy when I first meet people, it usually takes me a while to warm up

74. Most of my friends and family call me Jewels

75. My worst fear is spending the rest of my life alone

76. Someone once told me to remember the three B's = the bad, the bold, and the beautiful, and still to this day I do

77. If I could go back to any time in my life I would probably pick living in HB with Tricia, we had some good times together and she is one of the few people who really "get me"

78. I never wear jewelry

79. I love being at home

80. I go to the movies alone sometimes and I am totally okay with it

81. I wish that my mom lived close by

82.  My big sister is my best friend and it is rare that a day passes where we don't talk

83. One of the best memories I have of my child hood is the day my little sister Becca was born

84. I never really understood what love was until the birth of my niece Savannah

85. I really, really want to have another child

86. I love wearing lipstick, but hate the way it taste, so I am a brand snob when it comes to buying it

87. I can spend insane amounts of money at the Mac counter

88. I take a HOT bath every night, except when there is no hot water

89. I was a waitress for 4 years and really miss it

90. I still cry at least once a month when I drop Ava off in the morning

91. I always wear pajamas when I am home

92. Me and Ava get a family picture taken every year 

93. My birthday is the time of year I make my resolutions for the new year

94. I need to get better at sticking up for myself

95. I am patiently waiting for August to get here so I can read the next book in the Twilight series, and I would pick the vampire 

96. I am impatient

97. I have naturally curly hair but I have never worn it that way and straighten it everyday

98. I am starting to feel "old"

99. I try not to take myself too seriously

100. I learn new things about myself everyday 

THIS is my JOY!

Ava came home today!  I can't even describe what it is like to hug and kiss her after 10 days. It is always hard when we make the switch but she is a trooper.  She did cry when she said good bye to her Dad but seems to be perfectly fine now.  I have flown a lot with Ava these past few months and it has been pretty interesting.  She seems to have a hard time with the whole taking off and landing thing.  Today was the second time that she threw a kicking screaming fit when it was time to land.  And what is even worse is what she freaks out about.  She lays on the floor screaming that she is going to poop in her pants!  It is so embarrassing!  The first time I was totally stressed cause what if she really did have to poop, but what can I do when the plane is landing!  The first time she did this I rushed of the plane as quickly as I could to get her to the bathroom and then she was like "oh I don't have to go to the bathroom,"  like she had never even expressed the need. Today when she pulled the same stunt I was not stressed cause I will not be fooled twice.  But it was still a bit on the humiliating side.  Katie got her some goggles for summer and she was so excited that she wanted to wear them in the tub tonight.  When I put them on her I seriously laughed so hard that I cried, she look so funny in them!  What did I do for entertainment before her?  She is definitely the JOY of my life everyday.

Just for fun!

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:

1. I was sixteen and a sophomore in high school

2. Swim team, so I was in the water everyday for 2 hours

3. Prom with Jody Roark

4. I was a lifeguard that summer at the YMCA

5. Best tan of my life!

5 things on my to do list today

1. Breakfast date a Jamba Juice with two friends I haven't seen in over a month (used to see them everyday and I miss them so much)

2. Math class this morning, temple prep class, and then off to biology

3. Work in between all those classes

4. Picking up Becca at the airport!!!! So excited to see her 

5. Some kind of exercise ?

5 Snacks I enjoy

1. Granola bars

2. coke (haven't had a "real" one in at least a month)

3. 100 calorie packs (only 2 points)

4. carrots (okay not really but I do eat some everyday about 3 pm when I get hungry)

5. French Fries

3 bad habits

1. Hitting the snooze button for an hour every morning

2. I am a major procrastinator

3. I never ever make my bed

5 jobs I have had

1. I was a server at Black Angus for 3 years

2. Jamba Juice 

3. NRCHA

4. Vicortia Secret 

5. Subway

5 things you probably don't know about me

1. My favorite color is black. It is the perfect color, it goes with everything! I just never tell people cause it is a little weird

2. I used to tell people I was allergic to work when I was a kid

3.I hate being bare foot and always have something on my feet

4. I watch Everybody loves Raymond every night before bed, it cracks me up!

5. I hate crying in front of people

Flash Back Friday

Well I figured that since I never got around to posting easter pictures last year that I would post some today! I won't have any for this year, cause I didn't even celebrate early with Ava this year. There was no easter basket, no new toys, and no new dress. We did do the disney on ice thing and we did dye some easter eggs last weekend. I just feel like she doesn't need to get everything twice. She will be spoiled enough by her California family and I just have to get used to the fact that I have to share some things and that it is okay. I can still be a good mom if I don't do every single thing bigger and better. I think that I have been trying to compensate for our situation with things and the fact of the matter is that we are great with out them. I do want to share with her the message of why we have this beautiful holiday. It is the celebration of an event that gives us all hope! We all need the atonement and without it nothing else would matter. It is an amazing gift that I never want to take for granted and most of all I don't want my beautiful little girl to take it for granted. The gifts that we have been given by a loving Heavenly Father are truly the most important and I am so thankful that he loved us enough to sacrifice his son so that we all have the chance to return one day!

I'll be missing you!

Ava went to her Dad's yesterday.  I flew to Long Beach with her early in the morning and dropped her.  The whole way there she was very excited and couldn't wait to see her Dad.  When the time came to say good bye she was getting a little more wishy washy about it.  We said our good byes and she drove away.  It is always the strangest feeling to watch her go.  It is nice to have a break, for a day.  But seriously I start missing her by the end of the first day.  I wonder how she is doing, what she ate for dinner?  Did somebody sing to her today?  What questions is she asking?  What are the answers to these questions?  Did she get enough hugs?  Enough kisses?  What did she play today?  I walked by her room today and just looked in.  It was so cute to see the way things were left.  She was having a tea party with Dora on Tuesday afternoon (while I was attempting beauty) and everything was still set up just the way she had it.  It made me happy and sad all at the same time.  I am sitting here now and the best way I can think to describe how I feel is like a stranger in my own house.  It is way to quiet around here!  I miss my friend.  

Too long to wait!

About 2 pm today Ava and I were at Katie's.  We had been there a few hours and I had decided it was finally time to go home and grab a shower and clean up for the day.  I tried to earlier in the day but due to hot water issues I decided to wait.  I am usually showered and dressed by 2 in the afternoon.  I was yelling for Ava to come down and to hurry up a little, please.  She asked if she could just stay while I went, Katie agreed.  As I was getting ready to leave Ava yelled down and asked how long I was going to be gone.  My reply was simply I don't know as long as it takes me to shower and get beautiful.  Ava replied well that will take TOO long for you to get beautiful so maybe I will just come with you.  Me and Katie cracked up!  Maybe you just had to be there but it was pretty funny.  

Disney on Ice

On Saturday we had a special girls day out.  Me, Sharon, and Ava went to Disney Princesses on Ice.  It was so fun!  Ava loved every minute of it and seriously asked when she was going to see Cinderella like every five minutes.  I just love watching her face as she takes everything.  She had fun and as we were walking out after the show was over she was singing her little heart out.  It was so cute, I love to hear her sing because she will just sing the same line of a song over and over and then randomly throw stuff in the mix.   There was also all of my favorite things involved : cotton candy, snow cones, and popcorn.  In my opinion if you are gonna do it, do it all the way!

Catching up and a few other random thoughts!

How is it that a week has all ready passed since my last post!  I don't just quit posting on purpose I just tend to be easily distracted at times.  I need to find some structure!  I have never really been good at this, but most of you all ready now this.  Yes there are some parts of my routine that never change, but not enough.   School is keeping me stressed out.  Mostly cause I procrastinate and I am finding that I am not as good at winging it in the class room as I used to be!  It used to be that I could just show up to class and do well, not so much any more.  Consequently I need to develop a few study skills.  Any suggestions?  I am open to them.  I have spring break next week and cant wait!  It will be nice to just have a few days "off" to spend with Ava.  Hopefully the weather will be nice again by next week cause I have really been feeling the need to take her to the zoo.  Then miss thing is off to her Dad's for 10 days.  She hasn't gone for a visit since January so I am honestly looking forward to some down time.  I now that I will be missing her like crazy after a few days, but that is just the way it is. I have really been reflecting on how blessed my life is this past week. Here are few that have really been on my mind:

1. Answered prayers:  one morning last week was starting off all wrong from the start.  I can usually tell within a minute of Ava waking up what kind of morning we will have.  Well, this one was bad from second 1.  I just sat there and thought "I can't do this today, I just can't" and then thought came to ask for help.  A quick prayer was offered and within one minute her whole demeanor changed and everything went smoothly.  The man upstairs hears us, he knows us and he WILL help us.  I know this, with out a doubt.

2. Second chances

3. My freedom.  We have been discussing a lot of stuff on this topic in my Social Welfare class, and it has really hit me.

4. The people in my ward.  They are awesome people who help me probably more than I will ever really now.  But I got a note in the mail from one of them this week and it has really had an affect on me this week.

5.  My family.  I think that my relationships with each one of them have grown a little the past few weeks.  I am thankful for each one of them and the lessons that they teach me.  

I have also learned a small lesson this week.  Check the preschool calendar the teacher gives you, it can possibly save you from a few stressful situations.  Here a few examples

Tuesday morning:  Ava is laying in bed and yells "mom it is my turn for snack today."  Me thinking what and then checking the calendar and realizing that yes indeed it is our turn for snack this week.  Luckily I was able to throw one together without to much craziness!

Wednesday morning: Ava "mom today is bowling day, right?" Me, "yes sweety, today is finally bowling day."  Ava "I need a 5 dollar bill."  Me thinking okay wasn't expecting that then checking the calendar and yes there was the instruction, send your child with $2.50.  Oh, crap I have no cash, not even $2.50.  Had to stop at the grocery store and get some cash.  Glad she mentioned this small detail!

This morning : Ava "what am I doing at pre school today?"  Me " I don't know, lets check the calendar"  Oh it is pajama day!  Yeah, now I don't have to fight the battle of what is acceptable to wear in public and what is not!  

I will read the calendar in advance from now on!

Hot Water

I have lived in my current apartment for a year now!  I love it here and plan and staying for awhile, but I do have one compliant.  A BIG one.  There is only one water heater for all three apartments.  If you are wondering if you read that right I will say it again, there is only ONE water heater for all THREE apartments. There are 8 of us, sharing one water heater.  Seriously people, do you know how bad that can suck on certain days.  Like today, when I had to take freezing cold shower!  Not a great way to start out a day, and I will admit there were not choice words going through my head.  I usually try and get a shower in at night cause there is usually not a problem getting some hot water, but it just doesn't always work out that way.  Okay, complaining is over. 

Tagged

My cousin Kori tagged me forever ago and I am just barley getting to it.  Sorry Kori!

Attached or Single -  Single

Cake or Pie -  Definitely pie

Day of Choice - any day with no school and no work, or days when I get even an hour all to myself and don't have to answer one question ;)

Essential item - my make up bag, or you could call it my "bag of tricks"

Favorite color - black or blue 

Gummy bears or worms - bears (white and red ones)

Hometown - Corcoran CA

January or July - July

Kids - Ava Illene age 3 going on 23

Life isn't complete without - hugs and kissed from my sweet girl

Anniversary - see question 1, I am single 

Siblings - one little sis and one older sis, and 9 steps

Oranges or Apples - honestly neither, but if I had to pick it would be apples

Phobia or Fear - being alone forever

Quote - "There are two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle.  The other is as though everything is a miracle."  Albert Einstein

Reason to Smile - the semester is half way over

Season of Choice - Spring

Unknown fact about me - hmmm can't think of anything interesting

Veggies - asparagus, brocoli, squash, peas, green beans, peas..... I guess you could say I an a veggie kind of girl

Worst habbit - biting my nails

X Rays or Ultrasound - ultrasound with Ava

Favorite Food - I can't decide

Zodiac Sign - Virgo 

An AHA! moment

It is 4 am and I just cannot sleep!  Have a lot on my mind which is not unusual it just doesn't usually keep me up at night!  I started school two months ago.  I can't believe how the time has gone by so quickly, but as usual I woke up yesterday and it was all ready March 1.  I was driving home from Provo last night and I was just kind of doing a recap on everything that has been going on in my life since making this big life change.  And the light suddenly went on.  Everything is working out and not only it working out but I am HAPPY!  See when I started school I was a nervous wreck.  My first day of classes I went to Jamba in the morning to help the new manager out with some scheduling stuff and while I was there I picked up my last "full" check.  Can I just tell you what kind of anxiety over took me as I walked out of there!  I just kept thinking, What are you doing?  You can't possibly believe that you are going to live with out this money?  I am never going to be able to make this work, What was I thinking when I quit my job?  I was really freaked out.  Then I went to all my classes over the next few days, and the anxiety just kept building.  I just kept thinking, I CANT DO THIS!  I was driving home one day really struggling with the decision when this still small voice whispered to me " these thoughts are not yours, they are coming from the adversary and he wants you to fail."  Isn't that amazing, I immediately felt peace.  Even though it was short lived, I felt it.  I have really been struggling this past year with feeling at peace with my life!  I am constantly worrying about how I am supposed to make everything work out for my family.  Financially, spiritually, emotionally.  How am I supposed to do all of this alone!  It can be overwhelming.  I guess the point of all this is that I think in the last two months I have finally been at peace.  I am right were I need to be!  Yes, I am a single mother putting herself through school, but I am not alone!  There are so many wonderful people who are on this journey with me.  I am so truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life who help bear my burdens and lift me up.  Yesterday I was at Katie's house about to leave for the airport.  Before leaving Katie offered a prayer and blessed that Ava and I would be watched over while they were gone. Isn't that amazing.  It was just a reminder to me that Katie and Ryan really do help watch out for me.  I have really missed them since they moved across town.  I don't get to just stop in for a few minutes everyday and I really miss seeing all of them. I am so thankful for the relationship that I have with my big sis, and her family.  I am so thankful for my family.  My parents, my sisters, and my brother in law have all been so supportive. Hope some of that made sense, it is 4 in the morning.