Christmas 2004 and other thoughts........

I can't believe this is my fourth Christmas with Ava. I was talking to one of my friends in my ward on Saturday about how we couldn't believe Ava and I have been here for four years! It has literally flown by. I feel like I went to sleep one night with this tiny snuggly newborn and woke up with a talkative and very opinionated little girl. She has completely lost the baby look! Four year ago I was just here visiting after I had Ava. I knew then that I was supposed to come live her, but I was fighting it so hard. I didn't want to move here. I didn't want to admit that I needed to come here. It was a hard pill for me to swallow and I think that the day I drove out of Long Beach with a fully loaded U Haul following behind was one of the saddest days of my life. I think I cried for a good couple of hours. I was sad to admit that the dreams I had built there were never going to come true. I was thinking about the person I was four years ago today in church. I have been feeling a lot like that girl lately. Like I have lost a dream and that I don't want to take the time to dream a new one. But today I realized that I am not all the way back at square one. I have goals and ambitions I never planned I would have. I am a completely different person. I am feeling comfort in knowing that while I am an ordinary person I CAN do hard things. I have faced most of my biggest fears in life and I have survived to tell the story! Here are a few pictures from that first Christmas. I can't believe that I am posting them for you all to see cause I look like a cow, but hey, like I said a lot about me has changed!



Just one comment on this picture....... it seriously cracks me up every time I see it. I guess cause one day Katie and I stumbled upon it and laughed for so long because I look so "chubby". It make me laugh every time!